Downsizinghurts

Downsizinghurts
2020-01-28 17:43:19 (UTC)

Hiraeth

Hiraeth: A homesickness for a place you can not return. A home which maybe never was. The nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.

I don’t know a stronger person than a mother grieving the lose of a child. There are days even breathing seems like a task. Both of my children are still alive yet both are so lost to me. Yes, I could call them. I could apologize for things I didn’t do. I could pander to their egos or whatever it took regardless of the cost to my own well being. It would change nothing. I would still feel the same way. It’s not that I’m afraid or unable to say I’m sorry.. it’s that I did nothing to deserve this. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes including me. This though.. I did not do.

S has disappeared again. I did nothing to deserve that either.

My husband tries so hard to help me forget, to just let things go and pretend all of it never happened. For the most part I’m a happy person. There are just parts of me that I honestly don’t think can ever heal.

To just walk away from someone that loves you, that wants nothing but the best for you is such an incredibly callous thing to do.




Ad: