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2020-01-20 21:37:38 (UTC)

Rains and Beaches

It was a cold day today. It rained heavily and the air bit sharply.

C and I had that talk but I'm nowhere nearer to getting the answers I needed. But I am starting to think that the issue isn't me, that maybe he has intimacy issues after all this time. It's possible that there's nothing more to do than figure this out face to face. With the things I know about him, I can definitely understand his behavior, and I know it may require a fair deal of therapy before our relationship reaches its full potential. In the meantime, though, he's finding it hard not only to understand my needs but to trust that he will be safe if he opens up to me completely. I don't think he's even conscious that's the case. He's not the one to analyse emotions like me.

Work was okay today. Walking was okay. Talking to people was okay. It's time to explore the astral plane though. It's time to find that heart of the labyrinth.

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