Broken Glass Park
Random Relationship Rule
[Actually written January 14th, Tuesday]
A random relationship rule that I came up with: I will say what the rule is after this story because this story illustrates my point. I finally saw from the perspective of someone on the other side, in regards to this situation. I used to call my husband out when guests were around on various things. This is only one of the many things I feel bad for. I try to tell myself that I can't go back and change any of it. Also, that he still loved me, anyways. Also, that he did bad things, as well. I still feel bad. Now, you shouldn't care what others think about your relationship. You shouldn't have to pretend everything is okay when it isn't. You also shouldn't worry about looking your best in front of others. The reason you should not call out your partner on anything around guests has nothing to do with any of those reasons.
So, on Saturday when I celebrated my birthday with the older couple (in their 60's), whom I am friends with, the man was starting to tell a story and his wife was like, "Is this going to be another one of your 'woe-is-me' stories?" He didn't say anything to that - Good on him. I felt highly uncomfortable. Even though they didn't argue, that biting remark caused an unnecessary tension. It felt like I was in the middle of one of their arguments and it was quite unpleasant.
So, a good reason to not call your partner out on stuff in front of guests, is simply because it makes your guests uncomfortable. If for no other reason, at least have consideration for your guests! If it's really that important, you can bring it up to your partner later! Even if, they embarrass you in front of the guests, don't bring it up until later! Don't make your life like that game Facade! Lol.
And even greater than that reason - The consideration of other people - The consideration of your partner. Out of love and respect for them, do not make them look bad in front of other people! Even if you are mad at them, that can and should be addressed later.
I've learned from this mistake and many others. That's not to say I'll ever be perfect, but I can be better. I'm already better from being with my husband, my Monkey Man for 12 years.
I love you, MT, forever.
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