primrose squarp

thinking about
2020-01-12 02:30:23 (UTC)

Notes for later (Virginia)

So we went grocery shopping, we had a little while to hang before mayama had to meet up with his mechanic. We were sharing a beer. I was feeling drunk-ish, so I took mayama's hands & said that I loved him & I wanted to spend my life with him. He was like, are you being sarcastic? I'm like, only 40%. Then he was like, what about kids? & I'm thinking, oh my god, is he STILL on that??? I hope that goes away soon! Then he said that I should stop stressing, & be paitent & wait. That made sense, then he said that he's been stressed out (which is true)
He's trying to get this presentation together. But there was one big question I really wanted to know, to make myself feel better. I asked him if he was attracted to me. He said, yes, I'm attracted to you. The sun rose in my heart.
Then, we're driving to his mechanics house, & it's night & it's an unseasonably warm night, & I feel like there's a shift in our friendship & something is different, in a good way. Then all the man that I need came on the radio, & I was singing with the radio, & I had an epiphany: This is my world, I'm not a part of anyone elses, I'm not on the outside of anyone elses world looking in, this is MY world, I'm in my place, this is mine & mayama's circle & I love mayama very much & even though this doesn't work I will always love him & he will always be my best friend. That is all.
https://youtu.be/Q8D4E52iiUE




Ad: