Ad 2:
2020-01-05 12:41:38 (UTC)

An Open Letter to You

If I could talk to you, here’s what I would say.

You’re hyperfixated on your exes. You can’t seem to let go of the past. You talk about them and seem to compare them to the next so either you still want them or there’s something there that you have guilt about. It also tells me that you constantly compare them to the ones that come before. If you do it to them, I can understand why they want no part of you. Any woman worth her salt doesn’t want to be compared to someone else. Reading your past posts, you change the story to fit your needs. Every time you describe an ex, you come up with something more shocking than the last time be it your absolute need for sympathy or that desire to make yourself stand out to others that you have the worst “crazy” exes ever. This says that you are damaged, and you have to/need someone in your life to give it validation. You cannot do anything alone. This also makes you look desperate and from the sounds of it in constant need of a “project” that you need to fix. When they begin to show their own strength, you discard them because they no longer “need” you. Your desperate need to have them live with you in a quick fashion says that you absolutely need them isolated and under your control. Nine months and you’re wanting to move in together and have the future right now? This is a red flag for most women that understand their worth. From the sounds of it, you do want everything overnight and can’t handle a woman that is in charge of herself and independent. This tells me that you lack these things on your own so a real woman would run away from that as if her ass was on fire.

There’s a lot to read, but one thing I found lacking was you stating anything you may have done wrong in the relationship. It sounds a lot like you take no responsibility for your own actions. There’s a lot of she/her did this, did that. My ex did this, did that. You hype yourself up to sound like this perfect guy, but in reality land there’s no one that is perfect all the time. You may say something like “Oh I wasn’t perfect, I know but…” and that’s where you lose the sympathy. You do not own your mistakes that you have made. This sounds like it’s very one sided and again a woman that knows her worth would have nothing to do with you. It sounds like you shut them down when they want to talk about what bothers them or they don’t feel heard by you. This being said, it sounds like you will only consider what you think and feel as the absolute. So, they say nothing at all. Their feelings and thoughts do not matter. Again, a woman who knows her value will run away from someone like this. All in all, this says that you very well could suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Being a narcissist, you will never admit that there’s something wrong with you, but it’s the fault of everyone but you. You sound very mentally and emotionally abusive. The key there is the isolation, the desire to have your SO live with you. It’s proof to everyone that you are “better” and not the one in the wrong. So, it has to be the exes’ faults not yours. It’s the same desiring marriage so quickly. It’s to instill that you are not the one that was wrong but the victim of others. Somewhere it was said that a Narcissist will either be the hero or victim of a story, never the villain. I get that vibe quite a bit here.

It also sounds like you use your son to lure women in. A single father is more appealing to a woman than someone without a child. You use him to show stability, that you’re a good person, and reliable. He’s your shield. It’s not that they can’t handle your son, but that over time they see how you use him against them. Your support system around you enables all these behaviors by the sounds of it because it’s easier than trying to have you realize there’s a problem. You, yourself will never admit to them because you are incapable of doing so. If you did, then the façade that you use to hide behind would be glaringly apparent. The lies, the manipulations, the insecurities, the lack of self-esteem, the lack of confidence, and so on. Hiding these behind a mask of superiority helps you to lure women in (love bomb them) until they beaten down enough that they either give up or see you for who you are and leave. Reading past pleas for help along with your descriptions of your exes says to me that once they began to see through things and reached for their own strengths on their own, you began the search for another or played the victim when they left. In either event you garner sympathy because you make yourself out to be the injured party. Until the day comes when after so many leave you or ended by you, you have to realize that the problem isn’t them or with them (especially if they’re living better lives after you) that the problems lie solely with you. You say that she dumped you and you are heartbroken. That will last at most a week before you’re looking once more for someone to fill that void. Or you will be stalking this new ex until you either wear her down to take you back or finally reacts negatively to you (strikes out, reactive abuse) and cuts you off. You will then bash her like you have done the others because you cannot control her, you must control how people view her. Especially by those closest to you so they don’t see that you are the problem. How they view you (the image you portray) is more important than anything else.

I am sad for you that you don’t see all this. These are things I’ve said to you in the past. I’m not a bitter ex. Instead I’m just an ex. I’ve gotten to where I don’t care what you say about me. We both know the truth. If it helps you to sleep at night to make me the villain in your story, more power to you. I wish you healing, health, and the hope you see these things. I took the clinical approach as I have learned to do. Were I to say all this to you directly you would call me crazy. Tell me that I’m insane and don’t know what I’m talking about. You would say that I’m lying and that I’m just being vindictive. So, I leave this in an open letter because at some point, someone might read this, and either be where I was or where you are and it will help them. Perhaps there’s a chance that it might help you. Not that you want to hear any of this. You didn’t then and you won’t now because it shatters that mask you are so careful to wear. So, having said this, I take my bow and leave the stage. May you have all that you deserve in this life and may the Universe be with you.

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