kestrel

Prompt 053: Only In The Afternoon

53. What's something you love doing during the afternoon that you don't get to do on a regular basis? How would you feel if you could do it every single day of your life and why?
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Hahaha! Well, would an Afternoon Delight count?

Seriously, I remember some Saturdays with a recent ex of mine. She and I had a regular volunteering gig we would do on most Saturdays, which occupied the first half of the day. We would eventually be back at her house, either grabbing lunch on the way home, or making it there once we arrived. After lunch, we'd shower, and then after the shower we would make ourselves dirty again. Then sometimes take a nap. It was a thoroughly good time, and a Saturday where we both agreed that much worthwhile had been accomplished.

What if that were -every- afternoon? If that were the case, then I'm absolutely certain that the woman I was with would be one of the most patient, compassionate, and loving women I'd ever met in my entire life. I consider myself immensely privileged each time I have managed to share that kind of experience with a woman. The physical act is not something I've ever considered lightly. Recently I'd heard that an ideal partnership would, during sex, "generate less heat, and more light." The metaphor was in reflection of how the phrase "hot sex" and other similar terms were there to describe what can be one of the best things grown men and women can do to play together. To be in a relationship like that, to generate so much light, would be tremendous for me personally.

It seems like I'm putting a lot of unrealistic expectations on a hypothetical, or maybe the disappointment emerges once I start comparing this hypothetical to the real. I'm struggling to articulate how I feel about this right now, because I don't have much of an urge to engage with a woman in a relationship where sex is a possibility. I assume that if I was attracted to a woman, then providing her with some pleasure would become a high priority. So I'd be along for the ride, for nearly anything she would want to do. But I must admit, I feel a bit anxious even when simply thinking of cultivating a relationship again.

It's amusing to remember back in the day when online dating first became a real thing. I didn't dare consider responding to newspaper classifieds, but when it came to online dating, It seemed so much classier and safer. Oh, to be young and innocent again...

I felt it was a "big jump" to actually pay for a membership. If you wanted the system to work in your favour however, a paid membership would be required, since you wouldn't be able to reply to messages or send messages without one. This might also help make online dating more effective, since I know that I'm not alone when it comes to wanting my actual, tangible investments to be fruitful. When it came to online dating, I -wanted- to meet someone special. I wanted to believe that one of those women I chatted with -must- be that special one. It -must- be, because hey: I paid my hard-earned cash for this, and I will realize returns on that investment, amirite?

My "online profiles" changed a lot over time, as I learned more about myself, then the phenomenon of online dating became more than just a flash-in-the-pan Internet happening. Nowadays, finding partners of any stripe has become exceedingly convenient, particularly for those who have a smartphone (which I still neither have nor want). Online dating and matchmaking services do work, even for shlubs like me. As long as you can put together a decent profile, and string two or more sentences together to make an introductory message with more substance than the typical, banal, "Hey babe," then you'll have some success. Most men tend to be lazy bums who think women owe them something right outta the gate (and let's not even mention the nauseating "pick up artist" game), so deliberate, earnest effort on your part nearly guarantees better-than-average results.

All of this comes to mind because I wonder what it would be like to have sex every single afternoon. Wow, that really would be wonderful, eh?