All that is
Ad 2:
2020-01-01 13:34:31 (UTC)

Subconscious dynamics of attraction

If I were to really interrogate my obsession/attraction to these other guys (Tby, Tbe, Ehi, Lnr , Tayo, even Sn to a certain extent), it seems that the more chasing I have to do with the guy, the more I like them and idealise them and the more invested I become. In cases where the guy clearly likes me more (even though in all fairness, physical appearance has a lot to do with it), i am less interested. E.g. If Sn had been the one chasing me hard I wonder whether I’d be this into him. So it makes me question the deeper psychological reasons for my attraction to certain dynamics (e.g I’m attracted to dynamics where someone else has the power to either shower you with affection and make you feel high, or withhold it or show a cold indifference and make you feel very low). I wonder if I’m attracted to it because it mirrors the dynamic with my dad. What’s more is that Studies show that these extreme high-low yo-yos are very addictive (that’s why people hold on to toxic relationships)

Basically, my subconscious is attracted to the familiarity of the dynamic from my childhood.

Basically I’m now having to question my own judgement in cases where I meet someone and tell myself I’m attracted to this person