miss mess

midlife implosions
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2019-12-19 21:56:39 (UTC)

just like that...

i was standing outside the place we like to go for music and drinks, enjoying a cigarette, when i heard my husband say, "no way, look who's here".

i looked up to see him walking toward us...and my world felt like it was suddenly slippery and wet. it still blows me away how he affects me. i tend to handle it a little better if i am "expecting him", but i was not. this was a surprise, and it took me a bit to get my feet back under me. if just the sight of him makes my entire body WANT him, imagine what a full body hug does to me? luckily the two of them talked for a few minutes, and tho cam is WELL AWARE of what is happening with me, (and no doubt finding it amusing, even), my husband didn't notice that i'd gone....well....i'd gone, lol.

he sat with us for hours and we had several drinks. it was like old times...the three of us, before anything happened between he and i. and after too. but it's been a while since the three of us were together, and i had to be careful what i said, not knowing too much about cams life, as my husband asked him what was new and what he was up to. i mostly stayed quiet and let them talk, which is best, cause i can just watch him while he talks. i take in every beautiful feature on his face, focusing extra long on his bottom lip....which i love to suck into my mouth while we kiss...and i let the sound of his voice rumble thru me...touching every crevice inside me like it always does. and when he'd look my way and our eyes would meet, i'd be like a deer in the head lights and have to look away. he has always been better at this than me....able to talk and act like things are as they always were. able to hide the things toward me that come out when we are alone. it takes alot for me to be as "cool" as he is. i cannot control the way my heart beats or the thrumming i hear in my ears that i can't even define. or the way i am instantly wet in his presence. i've never been able to control the way my body reacts to him.

and the things he says to me when my husband gets up to refill drinks or use the restroom!!!! he KNOWS that he's messing with my entire being and he loves it. his eyes flash with a hunger that comes out the second we are alone for a few minutes, and that hunger draws me in like a moth to a flame. but unlike the moth, i know what my demise is. i know the heat of his flame. and i want it. and he knows it. he tells me he's hard, and if i want i can reach under the table to see my for myself, but i don't risk it....and i know he's telling the truth. and as my husband comes back to the table, all i can think of is that hot, heavy, velvety hardness that fills me so perfectly. i am actually trembling, and i want to laugh out loud at the craziness of the whole moment, but of course i can't.

the next chance i have alone with him, my husband goes outside again to smoke, and i excuse myself to the restoom. i don't have to use the restroom, but i have every intention of making him as crazy as he makes me, so i slide my fingers inside my jeans and wet them with what he has done to me. as i slide back into the booth, i touch my fingers to the place between his nose and lips and whisper, "smell what you do to me". he literally moans, and his eyes glaze over with a look i know full well. his voice is extra husky when he says, "i want you camilla", just seconds before my husband slides back into the booth. and because i absolutely NEED it, i excuse myself for my turn to smoke, knowing that he can't stand up, or much will be given away.

and just like that...he suprises me, and the ride is again in motion...

i cannot help myself. and i don't want to.