Experienced Life
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2019-12-18 08:32:41 (UTC)

So this is Christmas

Well, this Christmas sure is going to be different. Unlike the past when the kiddos used to be here. We'd go to a farm and cut our trees down. It used to take us awhile because we'd look around for a tree and couldn't make up our minds which one. I was with my then wife at the time and the kiddo's and we would take turns cutting down the tree for the fun of it.

Presents? You kidding me? Only had the two kiddo's but we'd buy them at least a dozen presents each. Malls and Amazon would love us. The tree looked like it was for a family of 12 with all the presents stacked up. The tree would be fully decorated. The outside of the house had three inflatable snowmen, a moving lit up deer, and lights throughout the rain gutters and bushes.

Now? The only outside lights is the flood lights to keep the riff-raff away. No tree, no presents. Oh wait. I did get one from the loony-roomie. A Santa shaped hand pump soap. No Red Faye next to me and it's all quiet. Normally, the quiet is nice and blissful. Today, it reminds me of how alone I am.

I've read the books and watch enough Vids telling me about how the holiday season can also be a pain for some single people. Yeah, I know. Yet, here it is anyway. This too will end and I will be fine. I know life improvements is not linear. I got enough in me to persevere.

I'm thinking maybe I didn't stay extra yesterday after gym class because it was movie night with my friends. I better be careful not to do that during this season. I may need that extra dose of dopamine to make sure all is good. But man... I sure wish I didn't meet Faye. It was one of those life lessons I could have skipped. It just sucks having to pull away when your heart isn't wanting to follow you. Of course, my ego is there constantly trying to make me veer left when I know I should be turning right. Such is life.

Well, at least I got tomorrow to look forward to. My friend Heidi and the rest of the meetup gang is having a belated dinner for me this Thursday. I picked the Outback Steakhouse again. My Superstar gym friend is back so I invited her to come if she can. We shall see. Jenny is coming. Susan is coming. Not sure whom else is coming too. So there is that.

Surround yourself with good people and life will be better. I'll invite my good friend Tony from work too. I have to remind myself. Have multiple baskets in life. That way, when one basket spills, you got other baskets in life to keep you going. I need to reread some of my own dang posts sometimes.

Ok, physically I still hurt from last Monday's workout. We worked on arms, chest, and shoulders. Guess what?! My freaking arms, chest and shoulders still hurt!! I better have a toned-ass upper body one day because this poop ain't easy. It's lucky I need the dopamine to keep my inner demons locked away. Yesterday wasn't bad. It was cardio day so that part I'm ok with. Today's gym workout is nicknamed Warrior Wednesday. So that means some muscle will be worked on again. Yesterday was nicknamed Tabata Tuesday so it was after that Dr. that introduced that type of a workout. Intense short bursts of cardio.

Today, we have a White Elephant and pot luck at work. Good thing we have the option of just giving money in lieu of food and I have so many things I buy at impulse that I can grab something for the White Elephant. Work btw is going smooth. Trying to learn something we call SDWAN and we are using Velocloud to deploy these devices. Ok, enough about IT shop talk. Boring huh? It pays the bills is all I can say and we have a big-ass raise coming this summer. I hear it's like 7%. EFFING-AYE!!! It's big bucks to me $$$$$$$$$$$$$$. I'm sure I'll be buying a kayak before the summer starts.

That's all I got for today. Just wanted to empty my thoughts to keep the sanity. It may be too late but oh well. lol.

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