2019-12-17 16:30:25 (UTC)


you don't need to be type A.
he says.
and then I think about all the ways I would need to be type A to let my dreams happen.
but it's not what he meant. he knows I know I have to be type A at important times.
it's just, i'm not sure if this is
one of those times.

I work my first charge shift tonight. but for a while I've expressed not feeling confident in my skills as a regular nurse.
there is still a lot that I don't know. I keep trying to play catch up just when I think I have a grasp.
and i'm in flux between my type A and type B.
but there is no guarantee. I keep polarizing it.
I keep telling myself that type B is happiness, but type A is success.
why can't I be both? I can be both, right? so how do I reconcile?
that's something I guess I gotta figure out.

i'm gonna do this one more time. i'm gonna meditate, and reconfigure, and reapply, wash,