Street_smart

Experienced Life
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2019-12-17 07:07:29 (UTC)

Trying to focus on life 🤔

Trying to do the right thing. Focusing on friends, family, work, hobbies, etc, etc. There are times to think about failed romances. I should know, I've had a few issues lately. But I don't want to waste my life going too deep in things when I know I shouldn't put in that much time thinking about it.
I know I need to focus. I know I have to focus and control my own thoughts. Do things and live life.

This morning, I was focused on trying to get my friend to calm down 🤬. I woke up with a raging hard on. So of course my brain follows and thinks about sex. I sort of did it to myself. I haven't taken care of.....business in 10 days. Don't know why. I'm just curious to see how long I can go without. Finally, after 20 min, I could go #1. haha.

I like getting up early. Rarely do it because I'm usually a little groggy from lack of sleep and usually from a few glasses of wine. But I didn't drink yesterday. I probably needed to detox with all the partying I did last weekend. I like getting up early because it's so quiet. Birds are still sleeping, cars aren't out and about yet making noise. It's so quiet. I may hear the creak of the hardwood floors maybe. The noisiest thing is my keurig brewing.

I can't do yoga to save my life but sometimes I feel like I'm in a quiet state of mind in the morning while I'm having my morning coffee sitting up on my bed. It's sort of like when I'm kayaking at some lake or quiet river all by myself. Seeing turtles on a log, seeing the fish (that I'm trying to fish for) swim by my kayak, sometimes bald eagles perched on top of a dead tree by the river, dragonflies stopping to rest at the bow of my kayak, and maybe a deer on the bank looking at this dumb ass human on a red plastic thing called a kayak. Sometimes I just lean my kayak seat back and stare at the sky and float around on a quiet lake. Those are some happy quiet times I can recall. Can't wait for it to be warmer and I can go kayaking again.

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