chae

from my heart
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2019-12-16 07:12:08 (UTC)

we need to be more honest

2:12 am

i am always full of thought but there are so much more than usual these days. its crazy, the fact that i have now finally saved 3k to help mom pay for a car and i only have to save 2k more. i had this whole plan set up for life just month ago in november and its weird how my thoughts are completely different now. i feel kind of stressed bc of my irresponsibility... im so irresponsible it’s genuinely mind boggling.

u know i was thinking today abt life and while i was drinking water i had this thought abt how im so dishonest to myself. i want to be more honest to myself because i think that i do deserve that honesty. i think being honest brings peace. i deny so much things abt myself; my life is lived in denial and i want to change that because living in denial causes so much conflicts. i allow myself to live in lies creating so much false problems that dont even really exist.

the things i think abt the future may change but i truly do believe it is my present that creates my future. i hope i can be able to live a life well enjoyed


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