Nish Kumar, the election
When I was travelling yesterday, I did spend a lot of time indulging in bisexual-girl French-holiday fantasies, and looking at neo-porn pictures, but I was also writing to sweet Chatel, who spontaneously brought up the idea of us going for a meal together – evidently she does want to go out with me alone, rather than together with other former colleagues.
I counted that on Tuesday, Elina wrote me 241 WhatsApp messages just that day! I decided not to work from home tomorrow afternoon, because she’s coming back to the office after her Christmas meal so “we can at least spend some time together” she said. Her and Chatel are so lovely to me!
Today I felt a lot of affection for Elina. We went to have our pass pictures taken, and hers came out as a perfect frame of her head, her permanently-on-show cleavage and her jumper tightly wrapping her beautiful boobs. Surely the photographer will secretly keep it on file to look at himself. My manager said he hoped she wasn't distracting me. While she was talking to her boss, I quickly got another magazine article done, which this time I was able to source from the Internet, as it referred to a relatively recent event from 2004.
Jack had been off work while the new fridge was delivered, but he worked in the afternoon and we went back to the buffet in Pentonville Road, despite Jack saying last time that he wouldn''t return, because the vegan moussaka wasn't hot enough. We then went to see Nish Kumar at the 2Northdown comedy club, a benefit for Haven Coffee, a social enterprise coffee maker which helps immigrants. We only got to the venue in time to sit on the side benches - though people turning up without pre-paying had to stand at the back. Three support acts were new acts who were immigrants themselves. Ed Field also appeared, Nish's set was mainly about a recent posh charity event he appeared at, and the absurd way it was reported after he was booed and had one bread roll thrown at him by the Conservative audience.
The Election exit poll was read out by Ed Field just as Nish came on, giving the Tories a surprise substantial majority, their first for 32 years. Annoyingly, it seems the Election swung on the "Get Brexit Done" slogan parroted endlessly by the Prime Minister, as well as potential Labour voters' dislike of Jeremy Corbyn, which makes his decision to allow an election before the UK had left the EU, a disastrous one. The Tories didn't increase their vote share much, but lots of Northern voters switched from Labour to Farage, which let the Tories in. Here in London, Labour did well. We stayed up until 5am to watch the results come in.
I was supposed to send Elina the Dagenham result, but it hadn't come in when we went to bed.