Experienced Life
2019-12-11 03:54:07 (UTC)

How I gauge my daily life status

You know how I gauge my daily life status? I gauge it by my reaction a few seconds after I wake up and maybe a little before going to bed. When I awake, I've said this before but it takes a second or two (sometimes more if you drank way too much wine the night before) for life to load into your brain and it will tell you what you are feeling. If you have something looming over your head, that memory will flood right back into your mind and you will be reminded of the miserable situation you're in.

For example, if you got fired and you go to bed, the last thing probably on your mind is you lost your job and how are you going to make ends meet? Then after falling asleep you forget. Then when you wake up, there are a few seconds that you don't realize you got fired and it comes flooding in and wham!!! The realization of getting fired hits you and you are miserable again until your mind consciously removes that pain or worry. That is how I gauge my life status.

Today, when I woke up, I woke up not with a smile but with a smirk. I'll take it. I guess I saw the chink in someone's armor by showing me what they're really made of. I realize and should have realized from the beginning that I'm not all that bad as some people make me out to be. In recent events, it's that one person.

So now, instead of being shellshocked and lost, I feel I learned something so I can take something from this recent experience. First of all, not all people are mentally 100% there. Maybe some people have Daddy issues. Some people pretend to be honest but they are masters at lying and manipulating. Some people do not know what normal caring, loving, and affection is so they react differently when faced with it. I got fooled because some people are good at hiding their true selves.

Just listening to someone's logic of how romance should be from no touching at all and how it grows then all of a sudden flip and be passionate is so alien to me. Making excuses or blaming other after they with all their choices end up having intimacy and then finding some weird loophole to not take blame for their life choices. However, they only seek blame after their orgasm fix of course. Can't do it before?
There is a song from Cher about tramps and thieves that I wish someone would listen to. May make them learn some valuable life lessons and see themselves.

She says and does all kinds of things, mean things, weird things, confusing opinions, but later on the night she would come around... and lay her body down. Haha.

Flowers are looking different today. I smirk and it looks so crimson red. Pic taken from bed with my Note 9 with a little zoom. That's where all the pics I've posted are coming from. Wanting to get a 10 not because the new phone is better, only it's because I'm stupid and feel like trading it in.

Also some more good news. I asked my friend that invited me to the formal dinner if Faye was going to be there and she isn't!!!!! has a way of sorting things out I guess. Now that means I get to go and it'll be drama free. Woohoo!!
And if that dinner sucks, I'll leave early and attend my Gym's yearly Christmas party. They rented a ballroom upstairs from a bowling alley and they also rented 15 lanes at the bowling alley. They also have a lot of fun arcade games there too. Sounds like fun to me.

That's all I got this morning. It's sooo dang early. Garbage truck isn't even scheduled to come for a few hrs. Usually, that's my alarm clock on Wed mornings. I think I can squeeze in a morning gym and the normal one after work too. I'm doing great keeping my weight ideal. Usually, it's during Dec where peeps get a little heavier due to all the celebrating. Not me, I got this :)