Elana

Diary of A Depressed Author
2019-12-09 02:48:29 (UTC)

12/8/19 post

I meant to write yesterday, but didn't get the chance.

Yesterday when we left Dad's workplace I lost both my house key and my dad's mp3 player. We thought for sure they'd both been stolen--but we found them by surprise! Isn't that great? Thank God for nice bosses who look inbetween the couch cushions, amirite?

Robyn (sister) has been screaming at me a lot lately. Even though we don't even live together anymore, she's still yelling and fighting along the way. I figured she would have at least calmed down by now, but low and behold she's not even close to finishing. Today she asked me to leave her room after I asked if I could have one of her mints. Like, really? Is that the type of thing to get mad about?

I'd already left her room trashed from being a jagoff the last time, I admit that. But she started screaming at me all these insults and calling me names and just not stopping for a moment. I was so goddamn sick of it. So sick of how she had done that nearly every single day for the past 3 years without bothering to end it.

But in the end, anger does nothing. It's why I even stopped trying to get mad in the first place. It seems to work; I just applied the same logic I would use on an eight year old bullying me. Don't speak, don't think, don't breathe. Anything you do can be used against you. Anything. You have to be careful. But eventually, like that child they are, they'll burn themselves out and stop their tantrum.

I left her a letter after I finished crying. It says I still have hope for her to get better.

I don't know if I was lying or not when I wrote it.

Tomorrow is school. I have to get the mp3 player back tomorrow when dad comes by after work. I'm getting some work done on the 11th chapter of Afterglow. I don't know when I'll finish. Chapter 5 outline for ASBAB is completely finished, and ch6 is well under way. I'm like a construction worker here, honestly.

Yours truly,
Your local retard