Sosuke

Sosuke
2019-12-08 16:53:11 (UTC)

My First entry

Well people have been telling me my whole life just wait things will get better. Everyday it gets worst and worst. You may think that im being dramatic ut its not.... Im 31 and honestly I dont wanna be here.... So this is me documenting the last days of my life to let those wondering how it got to this point know just how it ended like it did.

So most of my life was spent in and out of jail. Not because im a harden criminal, well at least i wasnt then. I always had problems with my family mainly cause i was a child trynna find himself so i spent most of my time out of the house because in the house was always drama. I always had to pay for the things my older siblings and dad did to my mom.... So that lead me to be emotionally thirsty. So any where i found attention was where i wanted to be.... Which lead me to alcohol and drugs.. Coke, pills, weed, anything to make me feel better about life. So now im hanging with the wrong kids and putting myself on the police radar.... Which is the wrong thing to do in Dupage County Illinois.... Young black and in a town where all black kids in a group larger than 5 are up to no good.... Dont believe me.... my first case was trespassing for cutting through a parkway trail after 12pm trying to get home lol while other people gotoff with a warning.... Living in westmont illinois by the time i was 17 the court was calling me a menace lol.... and i had been locked up in the county over 20 times for things like being out late and tresspass or my favorite i spent the night in a police station over night for a burglery where there were guns stole cause someone said they sawme standing in the driveway on a weekend i wasnt even in illinios and they search my house and didnt find any of the guns lol..... i use to hate guns then due to so many friends i lost living in chicago... I saw one of my friends die in front of me from a gun shot at age 11.... Plus im in the burbs why would i need guns when half of the kids were scared of me just cause i was raised on the west side of chicago.... Anyway but out of all that and more i still kept my head strong until a week before my 18 Bday when i found out I was gonna be a father.... I was so happy. I had an amazing woman who not only understood me but lifted me everytime i fell but because she was 16 and i was 17 the police somehow found a way to charge me with a sex crime, misdemeanor criminal sexual assualt..... Charges so bogus i got a IBond from the police station lol..... Fucking Downers Grove IL. Now i cant see or talk to the one thing that brings me piece so whats next Drinking and drugs again only now its way more excessive. Then i caught a my first felony for unlawful use of a weapon cause i got into a fight at school and reached into my pocket before walking off and then when the police came a searched me i had a knife in the pocket that i reached in.... Note i never pulled the knife, just because i was being aggressive and had the knife i got charged lol. Now im in the county and end up getting probation... Then i get out to find out that my baby moms in the hospital from complications and me being me i sneak to see her but get caught now im in violation of my probation.... After 9 months 2 weeks and 3 days i get senteced to the max of my probation 2years and six months.. while serving that out i finally get to go to court for my criminal sexual abuse and felt like my luck was changing due to the fact they told me i would have to register and the case would just end. but when i go back and finis my time i get released to find out i have to just cause i plead guilty. So now im back in that dark spiral lol now im a 20 year old register sex offender for criminal sexual abuse a fucking misdemeanor. Guess what drug and drinking lol. now Im 31 and have been violated on my registration fornot having places to stay or not telling them i switch my job as a temp to full time employee or the lastest which im on the run for now i didnt tell one office i moved before registering with the new one lol, so many time i'm lookin at 6-30 years and a class x felony.... the penal system right.... well now that leads me to why im making this journal.... Im tired and I just want it to end. So until they catch up to me ill just write down every day as it comes and goes... until the end.... Dont really know why im doing it aint like nobody a really miss me lol.... im just a sex offender right... no one really cares how the case happened or the back story im just a read dot on a map deemed sexually dangerous even tho i never forced myself on anyone touched a baby or child or flashed anyone lol.... but that dont matter.... anyway imma go find the bottom of this segrims gin cause i feel sometype of way.... enjoy your day and never take a breathe for granted never know when it could change lol




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