LustingforNightmares

tumbleweed
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2019-12-01 17:08:14 (UTC)

An Addendum

16:08 PM

On the bus. Forgot to mention—an awkward moment during dinner last night, where I was complaining about Emma and I accidentally called her “Stephanie.” Caroline’s face twitched in that odd way it does when an uncomfortable subject is approached: where it looks like she is almost shaking her head no, eyes really wide. I corrected myself quickly and without paying it a lot of attention, i just sorta put a little “think about this later” label on it. I guess earlier yesterday I walked by Stephanie’s childhood home and I couldn’t help but feel upset about that, vaguely guilty, vaguely betrayed, mostly confused, etc.

Emma only reminds me of Stephanie in the sense that they were both childhood constants in my life, and they are both very controlling people. Difference being, Stephanie was at least funny, and her stories were whimsical instead of tedious. I miss her sometimes. It makes me feel a little terrible.


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