Lindsay

Teenage Life
2019-11-29 21:05:44 (UTC)

Scared To Go Back To College

Like many freshman students, I don't have the best first semester at college. I went to a college that is very focused on Greek life. Not like anything is bad about it, but if you aren't apart of fraternities or sororities, chances are no one wants to be friends with you. And that's the hard truth.
It also doesn't help that my roommate is verbally abusive and insensitive toward me. In public, she is a completely different person however when it comes to when we are alone she changes into her true self. Her true self that doesn't need to be fake around other people. This has inflicted on my emotional and mental state as I have begun to feel worthless. It doesn't help that my friends are also her friends, and like her, are dropping out after this semester. Meaning, that I will have to try and create a completely new friend group.
Do you know how hard that is?
I'm not looking forward to going back after Thanksgiving. After Christmas, is it sad to say I just want to drop out like all my other friends and become a junkie and live at home for the rest of my life? Should I be taking the easier route? Should I have stayed in-state and did community college?
I don't want to go back. Mainly because I have to restart a completely new life.
I feel empty. I feel worthless. I feel like I should stop trying. I'm scared to go back. And like many other college freshman first semester, I am lonely.




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