Rereading My Entries
So having the mind set I do now, I decided to reread my entries. I'm happy that I didn't delete a single entry, because the whole point of a diary is to connect with your feeling....
AND HOLY FUCK
What the actual fuck was wrong with me? I mean I remember every topic I have vented about but goddamn the extent I went is unfathomable. I feel sick. I felt so weak and my stomach is in knots. People actually read my Diaries and thought "I'm going to be friends with this person." I remember people saying "aww poor girl, just too kinky for her own good! It's okay..." um no, what I said was not okay... Am I still kinky as hell? oh how I wish I could answer no... but what really got me was the entries referring my anger. It's disgusts me that I was ever that bad. I feel like all of this ended last year but I look back and it has only been two months. It's was just this year that I smashed my head into a wall, I still have that hole next to me bed... I've been a lot more gentle with my emotions ever since I quit playing video games, they were a definite source of anger issues. In case any of you are wondering, I've been continuing my acts of kindness towards animals, I'm referring to cats. Honestly, I still have a little hatred towards them but I act very nice, I haven't even been scratched in a long time. I remember talking about joining a band, well that was a flop. Ever since then I kinda just gave up on bass, I still want to learn it but I pick it up and I get this intense urge to get it off me.
As of late I've been getting into D&D, finally playing it a bit more and I'm even going to DM soon. My life is changing, certainly for the better and I'm finally getting somewhere in life. I finally belong.
Until next time,
This is Nala Toph! Signing off.
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