Darkcrow

Beatrice
2018-07-04 12:12:09 (UTC)

Disconnection

Happy 4th of July. You know for a long time I thought July was the sixth month of the year.

I'm on the phone with Keith. He's super upset. He's yelling. Saying that I don't want him. I think he hung up. He did.

He said, "He deserves more" & " I'm tired of doing all this shit." He's yelling so loud. I'm not really sure what to dom he says it's sickening. He also said I'm a huge part of his stress. He said I act like he's never enough.

I have no idea what I can say right now. He said that everytime hes vern diagnosed I

He's basically calling me selfish now. I'm so angry I'm two seconds from telling him to go.

So I've left and come back. I've been gone for about an hour.

Keith and I "fixed" things. He basically went on another emotional rampage inspired by sexual frustration.

All in all, I promised him that sex would be more consistent and he doesn't need to worry about anything else. Ummn... yeah...I also gave him head to satisfy his nerves. I didnt want to but I did.

We turned off the lights. It was my suggestion. I'm glad because I didn't want him to see the shame on my face. There was a lot. I wonder if be felt a lot of disconnect during or if he was just focused on release because he...I don't know. He kissed me a lot. I don't think I was comfortable with that. It didn't last long but still.

This shitty part about this is I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I cant talk to any of my friends (aka Julene) because...honestly it's a little too intimate BUT ALSO Keith doesn't want me to either.

You would think "Oh you can just talk to Keith." This will just start an agrument & it's too early for that so....no. Idk. I guess I'll tall to him? I'll apologize first and see what happens.




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