Ad 2:
Want some cocktail tips? Try some drinks recipes over here
2019-11-05 19:07:16 (UTC)

Open letter from the heart

All the thoughts and I can’t wait for tomorrow night when I come down. This last week has been the usual eyeopener for me. Always around Samhain that I usually get to looking back at the year. We made it this far. Yet I find myself sitting here wondering what the hell I am. The family zone is off the table, but I keep getting girlfriend vibes (which is what I truly want) but at the same time I’m dense and could use some help. Especially after going to a picture that we just happen to both be in from March and tagging yourself in. WHY?! I mean all I see is that “I’m” with “You” and while I desperately want that. Then again, I have R in my head screaming that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and I’m overthinking things. Perhaps I am. But sometimes when you have no idea you do fill in the blanks. Why else would go through all the pictures I have to find just one with you in it to tag it? All the way back to March? So, all I read is the first line… Me is with You. (Edited of course.) I can only wonder if this is your subtle way of saying that’s exactly what it is. I’ve been wrong before, but I plan to ask about it soon.

I was asked recently when I was reminiscing about our past together if I thought you could have stepped up to the plate if I had chosen differently? Now? Yes, I honestly do. Then? I was an idiotic twenty yr old with 2 kids and scared to death. I think though that the universe was setting us both to get where we are now. I’ve proven to myself so many times over that I have survived everything that’s been thrown at me. I’ve been through stuff that would have even the sanest person killing themselves but here I am still. You went through quite a bit yourself in that time. We’ve proved a lot to ourselves. We’ve also seen that in the last 3 yrs I’m not going anywhere, nor do I have plans from backing down from anything else thrown at me. One thing I do know now is I want there at my side when I do face those things. Just as I want to be there for you, at your side, when the universe wants to throw it’s punches. I’ve learned to not be freaked out by those moments when things are so easy between us. I’ve come to welcome those times when we’re together and things seem normal, like that’s the way they should be. I don’t have any plans of going anywhere, so I hope that you know that you’re stuck with me.

What I have learned is these things. I want to be a better person with you. I want to do more with you. I want to grow. I smile and laugh more with you. That while I’m content with my world, you make it better. You make me whole. You are still all I’ve looked for in this world. To me you’re perfectly imperfect for me. You have been the measure and too many fall short. I’m sure with you of everything. I’m ever so proud of who you have become through the years. To see all that you have come through and still remain who you are. You may not always see it, but it’s there. I want to make your world and life easier and better. I want you to be happy and strangely I see that when we’re together. I don’t know if you’ve seen it yet, but I have hope that you will. Actually, I have faith, something I’ve lacked for a long time. You came back into my life when I was at one of the lowest points I have had. I won’t lie that the mixed signals drove me crazy (and still do) but at the same time it helped me to move forward even if in the back of my mind and heart I wanted nothing more than for us to be together. Now, there’s no more Ogre. The kids are grown and living their own ups and downs. They want me to be happy, and without blinking I can say that you would be that last missing piece. So, they want us together to rewrite our story. We had a shitty first time around but those are still the best 2 yrs of my life. Ugly ending or no. Now we have the chance to rewrite the story and I think this time we get the happy ending. I’m willing to do everything in my power to get there, I just hope that you see things the same way. If it’s true, then this is only the beginning and now we get to write the story. Let’s write a good one.

Digital Ocean
Providing developers and businesses with a reliable, easy-to-use cloud computing platform of virtual servers (Droplets), object storage ( Spaces), and more.