from my heart
2019-11-05 16:29:37 (UTC)

just a long rant

11:29 am

i was scrolling through instagram and i saw this post about how boys only have to buy a 15$ condom and not have to worry abt giving birth while girls have to buy pills after as well as pregnancy tests and the expenses of it all and ig i kinda understand how it sucks to be a girl sometimes cause you deal w periods and the fear of pregnancy, once youre pregnant its a whole nother life to take care of while your man could just run the fuck off like the pussy ass bitch he is.

but what makes me feel so confused is in the comments there were girls that were commenting that they also have to get their hair, nails, and makeup done and all the money those things costs while guys dont have to worry abt those things.. and im like ???? amused because first of why do you need to get your hair and makeup done for a guy? only reason ever you should do something like that is if you enjoy it and it makes you feel good. i struggle with a lot of self love but i know damn well that i dont dress a certain way or get my nails done to impress a guy or anyone. i want to impress myself and feel good abt myself.

haha good job to me!!! (sarcasm) im just saying that i dont understand why girls are blaming the fact that they get their nails done and the costs of that on boys. like you had the choice to not to it or do it but you chose to do it anyways. i hate how we humans always like to blame things on people and i know its just a human things to do but i wish that we could just focus on ourselves instead of what other ppl are doing. its kind of ironic how im talking abt how im talking abt this yet im talking about other ppl too haha.

i guess we’re all just hypocrites and its a hard thing not to do.

this is my thoughts on self love or what i have learned so far..
you dont need to have makeup to be pretty and you dont need to look “good” all the time. you can feel ugly sometimes and not the best but its important to give yourself a break and realize that its okay. self love and care is looking your best and putting on makeup, clearing skin up etc whatever that makes you happy and feel good about yourself.. but the truth is everything really starts from within and your mindset. you learn to not be bothered by what other people do and what they think about you. you learn to realize that its not worth putting your efforts into someone that doesnt want to put the same efforts back. its when youre able to accept that you deserve more and dont settle for anything less than what you deserve. its when you learn to cut the toxic people out of your life and to work on yourself. it is to be a little selfish for yourself but to always remain kind to others because i believe that when you are kind to others it also makes you feel good and helps you be kind to yourself. im still a big mess on all this self love thing but i just know that i really am valuing myself more these days. i dont have to put on makeup everyday to feel good and i dont need to dress up well everyday to love myself. im trying to be more positive and try harder for the goals and opportunities i have in life. im trying to focus on what really matters to me and giving myself breaks.

i hope i can really truly somehow love myself a lot and be more content with myself. i hope to reach my goals in life and remember to stay kind but not weak.