Today was the first time reality hit me, my father is dying. Today I was in a really upbeat and decent mood. The sun was shining, no rain, and seeing my girl. But I got to Church and things changed. Today my Church honored those who had passed away within the past year. Once the pictures and music began playing, a tear fell from my eyes. I began to realize that this time next year, I could be up there, lighting a candle and watching pictures of my father. I began to imagine my life without him and remembering how much my father means to me. I've lost my grandmother's, watched a cousin pass away, lost teachers, classmates, but nothing hit me until the realization of losing the man who raised me set in at Church. I couldn't stop crying today in Church. I kept thinking sad thoughts. I got home today from Church and watched my father sleeping and in pain....I left for lunch to see my girl and didn't say much at lunch. I just wanted to get back home and spend time with my family. I watched a couple of games with my father before going to bed/writing this entry. So...as I write this, I am sad...night all.