sft

A Subs Space... OVER 18!
2019-11-01 05:49:41 (UTC)

Oh well...

i thought i might be free today for a couple hours, so i asked Master if He might be. He had no privacy, so told me to tell Him this morning if i definitely was, and He'd see what He could do. Meanwhile, i also asked Stuart what He was up to today. He's out with His daughter, so we're planning for one day next week now.
i learned, since asking Master, that i'm not free anyway... again... so i've just told Him. i've also edged again. It's been a week now, and i'm really needy. 😞 i can barely touch myself without needing to cum, and i get an overwhelming need to clench my thighs together when i stop touching, but i know if i do, i *will* cum, for sure! 😞
It's torture, and i'm beginning to feel utterly miserable with it, and with my present circumstances.

i also had an email from J. He says we are due to meet on Wednesday, and i'm to get a "sound spanking" for not bothering to send Him my weight, and i better pray for my arse, that i have lost a decent amount of weight for Wednesday, so that the "severe caning", He has planned, isn't as bad for it. He says He's spoken to Master about it.
Well we all know what Master wants... Master gets. So i' ll meet J, but i just don't feel anything for Him in a D/s way, so to me, it's pointless, apart from Master wanting me to.

my mantra says "i will do anything for my Master... joyfully and hungrily. Nothing else matters."
The hunger is there. i just need to find the joyful bit. lol.

Yes, this is a whiney post, and i make no appologies for it. i'm feeling down, and my posts won't improve until i feel better.

What i really need, right now, is to be at His feet. my special place, where all the world melts away, and He and i are the only ones.




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