Experienced Life
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2019-10-29 21:09:27 (UTC)

No stupid Ego mind games tonight

So there isn't a gym here at the timeshare I'm at. And the other night, I was filled with stupid thoughts and my ego was taking over. Now I know how ti fight it. I'm smart enough to handle it. For example, I know that the short time with Faye seemed like the one. I did indicate she was 10 times more of a woman than my ex gf. We took very few pics but one was at a restaurant together smiling and both of us looking pretty nice. the other was when we were in bed kicking back fully clothed and I took a pic of us laying in bed with both of us again smiling. Now this would mess someone's head up right? I mean if you break up and we did.

However, I forgot some of the things I learned this past year. All Faye did was at the moment, she filled my dream. It was the dream that she fit into and it made it seem like I was all goo goo over her and possibly something with a future. What I forgot to realize is that she simply seemed to fit my dream. I put her there. The dream is in me and always will be in me. She just happened to fit that dream at the time. Now that we aren't together anymore, I just need to remember that she no longer belongs in my dream. I just need to know and I do that the dream is still within me and it hasn't gone anywhere. Ok, I admit that Faye seemed to be the one but she isn't but the dream is still there and it will be filled someday with someone that deserve's to be there. I know this. So yeah, she wasn't it but I will find that someone one day and I'm sure it's while I'm not looking. Things like waking up in bed with the sheets stolen by someone next to you or getting/serving coffee in bed will still happen :)

That's a lot of thought though so just to make sure I'm ok tonight, I snuck off to a hotel nearby with my gym clothes. It was cold but it's only the next hotel over. I found the gym as I know every hotel has one and waited for the workout room door to open. I proceed to walk in and since Canadians are nice people, they even hold the door open for me. haha. I don't even belong at that hotel. I spend the next 1 hr 15 min on the elliptical to get my cardio fix. It was good.

I was soaked in my own hot sweat. I was dripping. Not trying to be a perv. I'm just going to describe what came next. Walking back to my hotel... Temperature dropped and being hot and sweaty, the cold air and wind chill pretty much almost locked my knees in place. haha. Half way back to my hotel, I was walking like Forrest Gump in his earlier years. My mouth was locked and I swear, I could feel my....... nuggets starting to freeze. All the while trying to look cool of course because it's a dang busy street and all these people are in scarfs, jackets, boots, beanies, and all bundled up. Not this dumbass. Breathable shorts and soaked T shirt. Finally made it back. Now I'm all cozy again in my room. Nuggets survived. I touch them and they feeling in them again. whew! lol.

I'm feeling good now. Ego has been shut down with this workout. I got my endorphins kicked into my body and it feels great :) I will post my thoughts or the stuff I did today but it will be with a clear and calm mind. Later diary. I was hoping to see a pic of my sweety from Canada but not tonight i guess :)

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