marielmia

Mariel is MIA
2019-10-24 15:44:33 (UTC)

Last weekend calls me back

i've been laying low this week. Aside from my UTI, punishment for fucking Javier Saturday, nothing is going on. Work has been uneventful. My friends are all around this week, but i've mainly kept to myself. No weed or alcohol. i want a clear head for a change.

i'm gonna play with Brian and Andy this weekend. Maybe a day trip to somewhere away from here. Who knows. i just have to be with someone and i have to change my scenery.

My father has called numerous times and left messages that he is so happy Javier and i got together. One message even alluded to him perhaps being a grandfather . OMG. Perish the thought. His way of telling me he knew what went on, just inches from his head on the other side of the wall. How could he not. It's a bit on the perverse side, but he's always been dysfunctional. Yes father. i was fucked in every way imaginable. My moans, whether of pleasure or pain surely alerted you to this fact. And yes, there would be a possibility of me being pregnant since Javier only had one condom. Thankfully, my IUD is most averse to having his baby- your prospective grandson. i say grandson because you certainly don't want another me. We both know that.

My mother, OTOH, just called leaving messages of no import, just what errands she was running and maybe she and i could catch up later when i had time. Mom. A gangster fucked your daughter in your house. She made enough noise to raise the dead. It hurt like fuck. And all you want to ask is if i need strawberries cause they're on sale at Publix?

And then there's Javier. Endless calls and texts, all ignored. i should have blocked him, but that part of me that causes my problems still wants to know what lengths he will go to repeat the performance. That part of me wants him. That part of me is being held at bay right now. But truth be told, if he showed up here, i'd melt in seconds. He knows the exploitation i crave and he knows he how to deliver it. And he knows i won't fight him. i didn't Saturday night. Total surrender and acceptance.

So, i def want to get out of Dodge this weekend. Even if i just stay over at Brian's. i'm a menace to my own well being.





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