Experienced Life
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2019-10-23 22:18:33 (UTC)

Vaca and ego hauntings

I"m on vacation in Cananda with my Sister. All good. All fine and dandy. I didn't even wake up for my flight. My friend Heidi was texting and calling me not giving up on me. She was my ride. She was 5 min late and thought I bailed on her and got an uber. When actually, I couldn't sleep the night before and finally fell asleep at around 4:30 AM. She got to my place to give me a ride at 7:05 AM. My loony-roomie finally answered the door to let her in. haha.
My friend was sort of yelling at me saying "Hey!! why are you still in bed?! You ready or what?!" Well, I was thinking "what the heck is going one? and how did you get in my house you stalker?haha".

So yeah, she saved me ass. My cute friend of 10 yrs and I named a stray cat after her took care of me. I'm in Canada now and the first day is coming to an end all because of my friend Heidi. She's alright I guess in my book.

Sister is already asleep. It's late and I'm in Canada in this awesome hotel loving every minute of it. So what happens? Of course... my ego creeps in. I'm reminded that a year ago when I was in NYC on vaca once again with my Sis, I was broken up with my ex gf and couldn't quite enjoy my vaca as I should have. You know how it is to focus when you break up. Not the easiest thing to do.

So no here I am in Canada. Victoria to be specific. And my freaking ego kicks in of course. Reminding me of last year's outing and how I missed my ex gf. Now... it's twice as messed up. It tells me about my ex gf from a year ago and this new one sorta anyway that didn't pan out. I was thinking... Geez effing Louiz..... can I catch a freaking break here or what? Does every big trip have to have some shit about a broken relationship have to loom over my head? I mean I know this is asking a lot but can't it be with someone besides me just enjoying the site and having fun learning and enjoying the culture around you? Too much to ask?

Apparently because year after year.. I'm here. Battling life because that's what life should be. A challenge ever day. Just wish I could put my armor down finally you know? Is there actually no rest for the weary? I dunno.. because it sure would be a nice time being with someone enjoying the world around you with no worry about them fooling around or leaving you. I know people like that are fucked up beyond reasoning but the do I always seem to be the one that is given that roll? Can't I just enjoy a nice time with a nice woman and I dunno.. maybe just maybe she be there again in the future? Not have to change because of religion, family or outside peer pressure? I know I'm asking this but I know... this is just too much to ask. Maybe the next Gen will be better at it.