Cs1986

Mess Ups
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2019-10-16 20:22:24 (UTC)

Wednesday Rainy Thoughts

Dear Diary,
It's raining outside and these are my thoughts. I am uncertain on my future and only God knows what tomorrow will bring. Everyday I see my future fading away. As my father slowly passes away from cancer and other medical issues, I often think of my mom and I. If something was to happen to my father, it would be my mom and I making sure we were okay and still living day by day. I often wonder, will my mom be okay? Will I be okay? Today my dad reports a lot of pain and taking two pain pills. He only ate breakfast, no lunch and no supper. He sleeps in the chair, stays in the chair, eats in the chair, and occasionally gets up for bathroom and medical appointments. My father is dying. I have lost people in my life before: grandmothers, cousin, Masonic Brothers. But my father is my world. My father and I have done everything together: Yankee Stadium twice, trips to Basketball Hall of Fame, and Baseball Hall of Fame. My father and I watch TV together three times a week and sometimes every night. My father is everything to me. My mother and I are close as well: work in the same building, food shopping, help with morning breakfast, eat dinner together. I know I am close to my parents in different ways. I guess, I am in denial right now that my parents won't die and that they'll live forever. I know some people dislike or can't wait to leave their parents or talk bad about them. But for me, I am lucky to have two amazing parents. Anyway...I saw my girl for five seconds, which is never enough. Night all.


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