Immaculate Snow

Fleeting Moments of Existence
Ad 2:
2019-10-16 16:51:42 (UTC)

A long day

I haven't had much time to think today. I had breakfast, the same I used to eat in California, because I miss this experience so much. Then, I worked on my Inktober artworks as I was quite inspired during the past 3 days, which took me like... 3 hours. Worked out (the most grueling 12 minutes of my life... well I say that every time). Lunch. One episode of This is Us (god this TV show is good). More Inktober. Finishing to crochet a sock. Greek homework. Preparing the classes I have to give later... in like 45 minutes, yes, I'm on the go.

More thinking about SE ? A little bit, it was hard to fall asleep again. I wasn't thinking about it so much but I'd have some thought crossing my mind whenever I'd be turning the page of the book I've been reading every night. I think I really miss the way he made me feel, this chemistry and intensity of it, not that I don't have other strong feelings for SO. It's not even comparing both relationships because to me, it's like I lived an entirely different life in an entirely different world when I was seeing SE. He made me discover so many new things, some that I liked and some I didn't. He taught me to push my boundaries, get out of my safe zone, see more of the world, exactly like I was craving. And I'm keeping all of it. Working out, for example, is an addiction I discovered with him and I thought that after I'd stopped seeing him, I would stop that too, turns out, I was doing it for myself and not for him. Some things are being "unlinked" from him, others... well, they're the problematic ones but I'm a strong believer in the healing powers of time and keeping myself busy with things that I love.

I'm trying to write every day and it's real hard to keep that commitment at times, but that's a habit I want to take. I'm just now in a bit of a rush.


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