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04/17/2019: Ain't No ELP High And Low
Socold cant use the force - Eric - Leia? Oh, Hi Were you like that all night? No! No! from 1 to 4 I was whimpering because your knee was in my back yeah, we get to Madison next week Were getting a bigger bed Eric, my knee was in your back because you were trying to hump me in your sleep No, I wasnt asleep I gotta go, my folks come home from the hospital, today Donna, whats going on in there?! Donna! Um, just a minute, dad - This is yours! - No, time! - Im coming in! - Hi, daddy -I heard voices - Oh, that was me! you know greeting this beautiful morning Get out May I ask why youre wearing my daughters blouse? I thought youd be mad if I was nude Oh, what the hell?! Fez? Oh, my God! Did you see anything? Not, much you should really think about a night light That '70s show Season 6 Episode 1 The Kids Are Alright SirMartini Yeah, its a sweatband, Im wearing sweatbands now What are you doing? Well, police academy starts in a week so I gotta get in shape So Im eating raw eggs, like Rocky.
Kelso? Rocky, ate raw eggs cause he was training for a fight if he was training to be a cophed just flunk out a high school and grow a bad mustache Oh, Im growing the bad mustache Ooh! Forman, just because theres a sale at Pennys doesnt mean you gotta buy everything Hey, Fez, your suppose to bring your date home and then take her pants off Fellas, Im afraid your little jokes dont bother me because soon I will be starting my new life in Madison, where if I so choose I can wear ladies cloths all I want! Really? Where is this Madison? So I can go there and kick their dress-wearing asses Guys come on.
Im all man, Im married to Erics slutty sister - Yeah, hows that going? - Oh, not great but Im pretty sure when Laurie gets back from our honeymoon in Cancun, things will pick up - Laurie went on your honeymoon alone? - Oh, no that would be crazy she took her friend, Carlos, along to keep an eye on her But I paid for both of them so everyone knows who the man is in this deal Hellos, Boys, it is me, the object of your desire So, Jackie, you choose between me and Kelso, yet? Im on my way to the pool right now to think about it rest assured! when Im in my most delicious shade of cocoa brown, you will have your answers.
Well this might tip the scales, Im not wearing anything underneath my tracksuit - This is stupid, all right, Im outta here Hey, Jackie you want to see something hot? watch me drink raw eggs! - Oh, M-Michael-- - Jackie, hold on Im drinking my eggs - No Michael - Jackie! whatever it is Im sure it can wait until after I drink my eggs Fine! - Now, what is so important? - Youre allergic to eggs! Oh, man, I am Yeah, I gotta go to the hospital Thats okay, Ill drive.
I gotta pick up my folks anyway.
So, uh, Hyde? Your competition for Jackie is, uh egg boy! Ooh, that must be so humiliating Fez, your wifes on your honeymoon with another guy Oh, no, no, no Carlos is just like a, hes kinda like a-like a chaperone, he, uh Son of a BITCH! How you doin back there, Kelso? My eyes fell tight, do I look okay? - Oh my God! - What? What? Nothing, were just shocked at how Great you look Oh, its the sweatband.
Im wearing sweatbands now.
Come on, Kitty, lets get the hell out of this weird place I think some of these nurses are stealing drugs Red, I am a nurse here I stand by my statement Okay, Mr.
Forman just to be clear.
no going to work, no chores, no driving for three months - and lets not forget the root cause of the problem? - To much rage, right? Yeah, so he probably shouldnt, like Yell at anyone,anymore right? Actually, the reason he ran into trouble is he was holding stuff in He was holding stuff in? Okay! I weigh 42 pounds cause of what he let out and Im sorry your telling me that, uh theres more in there? Non non non He does not weigh 42 pounds and these two are the best of buddies! Hey, Dad wanna go fishing? Sure, son, lets hug thats what its like at our house See what I mean about the drugs? What you need to do is focus on things that make you happy OkButI dont know were were gonna find a boat load of dead commies They gave me four shots, none in the arm Hey, pretty lady you like what you see? Jackie, when are you gonna decide between Kelso and Hyde? I already have - What? - Yeah Oh, here you go little boy - So, whod you pick?! - Well Wow, this ball must be hard to catch, huh? I chose Steven, and Im gonna tell him today I cannot wait to see the look on his face Oh, my God! What if he cries? Yeah, thats not gonna happen Oh, Ill make him cry, you watch and see Hey, what are you--? You get a good look you little perv! She touched me and it was awesome! Now, get you, upstairs for your napand Eric he needs quiet, so no shenanigans! Mom, please, I havent Shenaniganed in about six years Ive hooliganed, Ive no-good nicked Ive neer done well, just yesterday I caught myself rabble Rousing -- Will you SHUT UP! Welcome home, Dad! YOU! You got a lot of nerve Showing your face around here after what you did to my daughter - Hey, I did you a favor that girl's been passed around this town - Nooooo Okay, You have already given him one heart attack.
Thats enough, now hush Hey, look buddy, rasionettes! Okay, okay, nap time Oh Eric,your father has a check up next week so I need you to take him Mom, I have to register for college, remember? This- Im not gonna be here,Im moving away.
- Oh, so your still going? - Yes, Im still going, to college - Fine! - Mom, I gotta get outta here Oh, Kitty let him go, odds are hes not gonna amount to anything and I dont want him blaming me See? that is exactly the kind of thing that I have to get away from - Fine! - Great! - Great! - Fine! - Oh, my heart Iiiiiiiiii--- - Dad, Dad! I just thought Id break the tension thats gonna come in handy Okay, no more fake heart attacks ! Next time you clench your chest youd better see some a bright light and some dead relatives Hey little brother, Hey, hubby! Dont hubby me, Im mad at you! Aw, but I brought you a souvenir Oh, look Fez, a genuine Cancun shot glass still sticky with tequila! Aaw, you shouldnt have No biggie, some guy left it in my room OkaySteven, Im here to tell you, Ive made my decision I choose you! Yeah, Im a good kisser Heres your gum back.
Oh, Steven, I missed you so much Hyde, you ready? Yeah, lets hit it Who is this? This is my date,you didnt think I was gonna wait around for you all summer, did you? Looks like you traded up Oh, you better back off -Back off or what? - Ill call your parents My parents dont speak midget Okay, okay, I hate myself for stopping a girl fight, lets just -- Ah, screw it, Go! Go! All right, Steven you made your point now Please, stay here with me Im sorry but I got plans.
Hey, maybe you should go work on your tan Skank! Okay, here you go egg whites only, no yolks theyre bad for you But the yellow part is the baby bird thats the part I wanna eat Sorrytoo much cholesterol, which also means no bacon just good old heart-healthy Ham Bacon Ah, this is so good and is so much better than ham And for you, my famous chocolate chip, Carmel whipped cream pancakes! Maom, your not gonna bribe me into staying home from school with super sweet breakfast food Where are my sprinkles? No, no the pancakes are an apology, I overreacted before of course you have to go to school - So thats it? Its- no guilt? - Thats right What a nice, warm family moment! lets celebrateWith bacon Bacon Steven, how could you go out with another girl when I chose you? Jackie, when I said choose between me and Kelso, I meant choose me,right then making me sit around and wait it out is immature.
I want what I want when I want it, what is so immature about that? Forget it, Jackie, maybe your just not my type Whoa!, that was rough, even Ive had a better day then you and my head swelled up to five times its normal size Oh, my God, Donna? Madison has a course called The Social SignificanceOf Jedi Culture Mom, what- why are you doing laundry? Its almost midnight Well, with your dad not working, I had to pick up a double shift at the hospital this is the only time I have to do it - Okay, dont do this - Do what? Come down here in the middle of the night, doing laundry, looking like hell-- - Oh, excuse me - No, I Im just saying, your trying to make me feel guilty for leaving and its not gonna work I cant stay here, okay? I have to go off and live my life.
I disserve that Mom, I disserve a chance Okay, okay, no need to use your squeaky voice I understand that you have to leave, I have bigger things to worry about then making you feel guilty - Eric, if you feel like you need to stay, I mean, we can talk about.
- No no! - Were leaving next weekand thats final! - Ok Yeah, its bacon and I dont care if you tell your mother.
She doesnt scare me! Eric I almost forgot! How could Steven say Im not his type? Im everybodys type, thats my thing Well, at least you dont have to worry about me chasing after you anymore I mean, most of the stuff you and Hyde use to argue about? I didnt even understand which makes me think youve become a complicated woman and I dont want none of that So, your really okay with us just being friends Yeah, I release you Fly, little bird, fly, fly away! That was you - Michael, do you think Im immature? - No, your almost fully grown WellSteven thinks so Apparently, Im immature and that skank in the leather jacket is what? Cool? Well I can be cool, people can change.
Olivia Newton-John did it for John Travolta and that movie was totally realistic.
Yummy! Jackie? Tell me about it, Steve? Oh, Jackie, your so much cooler then that skank I was with before please take me back.
cause we belong together like Bop-booba-loo-ba, sha-walla, sha-bang, sha-bang Ah! The whole gang is back together again Yes, they did it Are you gonna sing? Cause Ive heard you sing and your not gonna sing, are you? No, but Im gonna get Steven back, whatever it takes and Im gonna get me a pair of those black satin pants cause I look good in those - Mom? - Fabric softener! Im up! Mrs.
Forman, are you okay? Oh, sureOh, God, Im late for work Your working tonight? Well, honey, nights can be our busiest time.
Lots of people stroke out after a big salty dinner But you worked all day I know Okay, theres food in the Oh, who am I kidding, theres no food! They cant do this to me! they cannot do this to me I gotta get outta here! of all the people in history of the world that have ever had to get anywhere It is me HAVING TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! I have to go! I have to stay Donna, Im sorry Sorry? Eric, I think its amazing that youd do that for your family.
and you know well see each other on the weekends Oh, so your still going? Yeah, I mean Yeah YeahNo, of course Oh, come on! I think I have something that might make you feel better? Hey, umCan we just like Could we just sit for a while Yeah, sure.
Sit for a while? If I hadnt found this bacon Id be really pissed of I mean, just because I dont wear dresses And, I know how to fix a car doesnt mean I dont like to be told Im pretty Wow, its like Im reading my own journal I think your pretty, I think your really pretty I think your pretty Stop! Is this really happening? Shh! Youll break the spell!
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