Pleasantly Disturbed

Broken Glass Park
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2019-10-12 15:37:32 (UTC)

Of Crushes & True Love

Got to briefly hang out with and talk to a longtime crush of mine today. One who I will more than likely never be with and doubt if I should - as is the case with all my crushes, but maybe one. Lol. I say maybe because of Jeremy Renner. If he's exactly what he seems to be, I'd have no hesitation, except for his money and fame. I'm not about that. That separates us. Especially the money part. His fame, I think I could handle because my husband was pretty damn popular and one of those love-him or hate-him types. Thus, my conflict. Lol. But , I don't regret one second of the 12 years I had with him. No way. Hell no. At one time, he made more money than me, but he had so many mental issues. And that could just sound like an excuse, I get that. But, when we finally had a steady place that was our own, no roommates, no crazy crackhead (just bad alcoholics, maybe?) and he was working, and trying to change everything, make it better, because he felt bad for his years of alcoholism and not supporting and helping me -- well, then, he falls ill with Cancer. And when we think he's defeating it, he ends up in the hospital and a week later, dies.

So, I know he truly loves me and wanted to do right and make things better. And I am glad with that knowledge. If, no one in this world ever loves me again and I end up the lone wolf who, truly has to love herself, at least one other person truly loved me. ☺☺☺

Love you forever, Monkey Man. ❤❤❤

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