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Good talk with maybe-girlfriend
Spoke to my maybe-girlfriend last night. We had a really good talk. I thought we spoke for 20 min but nope, we spoke for 3.5 hrs!!!!! Lot's of small talk but we did a lot of serious stuff too. I told her that it's not mentally healthy for the flip-flopping around about us for both she and I. She understands and agrees to not do that anymore (or at least try) with a stipulation we do something. I asked what and she explained a little of why the flip-flop last Sunday after we were intimate.
I indicated that she can't be kissing me, having intimacy with me and enjoying the moments then only to flip around the next day or immediately after and get mad or irritated. Then later that week, start missing me and wanting to see or talk to me again. I can't take nor understand that kind of behavior. I didn't say she was nuts but I told her I don't understand how such a smart person would act this way. So she explained.
She says that when we are together, she ends up letting her lust for me take over and satisfies her lust. I am pretty persistent and like to do gentle butterfly like kisses. I like to hold her hands. I like to put my arms around her small waist and depending on how we are sitting or standing, I like to give gentle kisses up and down her neck down to her shoulders. Some tongue may glide on her skin. Some hot gentle breathing into her ears with just a touch of nibbling. Running my hands down the side of her body but just barely and gently touching her with my fingers so that she can barely feel me touching her. Yeah, I may be guilty of that. So..... She says after that, she loses control and goes ape shit on me. However, the after effect is what messes her up. When she leaves, she starts feeling guilty for what she's done. Then she feels resentment towards me because I was the one making her succumb to the intimacy.
I ask her why would she feel these feelings anyway? We are two consenting adults and we both obviously enjoy touching one another. She says that she is doing this out of lust when we should first bond and feel that feeling first. Then and only then will it not only feel good being intimate but the love making will even be stronger and more intense. I like intense to be honest. To not be confused, I clarified with her on the bonding thing. I asked "Do you mean love?". She immediately and responded in a firm loud answer with "yes, exactly that!"
So I get it. This is the flip-flop crap I am dealing with every time we are being intimate. So we did agree to slow down and I actually do believe we went way too fast anyway. Not like I was putting our relationship on a project plan so you know, I just went with what I felt like doing. But she is correct. Some things take time. I know that and it's so common sense to know that. Again, our time together was see each other for this first time on a Sat. Next Sat, first date and I rubbed her down there clothed but she came. First sign of the after resentment and guilt she indicated. 2nd time wasn't even really a date sort of. It was a cruise in the car and when we gave our goodbyes, the passion kicked in and we made love from 4AM till Midnight that Sunday. Of course, she did her resent and guilt thing even more. So there you have it, First, second, and by the 3rd weekend, we did the nasty. Yeah, too fast.
Is there a 4th weekend? Yes, for sure on Sunday but we want to do stuff on our own so I'm giving my wine bus tickets to someone for free. Depending on Fay's (I can call her that now instead of maybe-girlfriend and hope it sticks this time) lady friends hooking up to do a girls night out. If they don't go this Saturday, she and I will go to the drive in to watch a movie. I like how she doesn't have to go to fancy places to have a fun night out. In fact, she wants to go to a giant swap meet/ farmer's market we have here on Sundays. Works for me and we'll cook a home cook dinner and do some meal prepping for her.
5th weekend, she agreed to come with me to my friend's funeral viewing. I thanked her for coming even though she doesn't know the person that died. Fay said that this is her custom in her country so I thought it was cool of her to agree to join me.
That's about it. We're on the "A" side of our relationship. We'll try to take it slow and let time take it's normal course and build our relationship. Pretty hard to do since we already went all the way but I think it's worth it. I realize how this lady is 10 times more of a woman than my last girlfriend. She puts my ex to shame with her heart and although confusing at times.... morals :)
PS- She did say our last session confirming I had a huge cock. It's not long at all, Just have but the girth apparently and she said she couldn't even walk straight afterwords. So when you hear that old saying, apparently it's sort of true. They do have issues with walking afterwards. I always thought that was just a man-card rumor created by men.
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