Jen just jen

full :: transparency
2019-10-03 02:43:34 (UTC)

and now I'm thinking about ..

and now I'm thinking about that man, Ethan,

I think he was probably the first guy to touch me out of something other than lust.
It might've been love.
it was so
foreign,
it hurt

I didn't understand how to give him that same touch back.
but I knew in my heart so, so, much,
I wanted to.

and still

//

I've been watching that eclipse turn over my heart for awhile now. I want to be the one determined to not let it grow cold.

//

granting myself permission to be the one in control of not letting it grow cold.
ugh
that's the task




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