Experienced Life
2019-09-21 22:41:58 (UTC)

What a weekend!!!

So I met Jen from Oakland. She came over to watch a tennis tourney with her friends We met at this tennis club. I fed her lunch. Great!! No dutch. It was assumed so I did. Then after the 5 hr tennis thing, we had dinner (my treat) and went to my place. We watched Netflix till it was late and I pulled out the sofa bed and got it ready for her. Nothing happened nor did I try anything

The next day, we had coffee and chatted. When we finally got ready, we went for breakfast. First place was too busy so she said she wouldn't have time because she has to watch her friends play. I shrugged and said ok, lets go to another place that isn't busy. On the way there, she texted that she will just go straight to the tourney instead. I wasn't bummed out and said ok, I understand. I had breakfast by myself and you know what? It was ok.

I realized that I was not that into her and I have to admit, I was just going through the motions because after a breakup and when enough time has passed, I should be doing things even if it doesn't feel 100%. So this was it. I then asked a friend if she wanted to go to the movies later and she said ok. I already had a previous engagement to go to a house warming party. I really didn't want to go to that and really wanted to just stay home. However, I had to practice what I preached and even though I didn't want to go, I went anyway.

On the way there, I get a call/text from Jen. She wanted to meet up later tonight, spend the night and then go to church with me on the next day. SMH. When I offered this a few days ago, she said it was too much too soon Yet today, she is ok with this. Again, I told her earlier that she can spend Sat night with me again and she said her teams will most likely not make it to the next round so there will be no playing on Sunday and everyone will go back to Oakland. So I said ok to that too. Again, I was ok with that. Yet now, she asks for the exact thing that she said no to earlier. This lady is pretty wishy washy. She is nice but she does change her mind too often. So, I told her I got too much to do so I'll pass on tonight. To be honest, I wasn't feeling it and this didn't help.

So later, I went to the housewarming party and guess what? I met someone that made me feel woozy. I was attracted to her. The more we spoke, the more I liked her. This time, I knew how to act and wan't going ga-ga all over her. At least on the outside. She is from Iran and she had very beautiful eyes. She's educated with a Master's degree. Dressed in red. In fact, we had a fun long discussion about that color. I said it was my favorite color and she said it's hers too. We started to point out our proof that we liked red. She said she even has a red sofa at home. haha. Blew me away. I said I have a red truck and showed it to her on my phone. it was a cute fun topic to talk about. She was humble when she spoke and has a good job in the bio tech industry. So dang humble and so cute. She was about 5'2". Very slim but a nice face. Long shoulder length hair. I like a woman with long hair. She lives a little over an hr away so that's good. All things lined up and we had great conversations. I studied her from what I learned regarding if a woman likes you. I could have sworn she showed some signs but who knows? Maybe I was seeing what I wanted to see.

I told the host later on that I was attracted to her and she said she'd pass it on and give her a good word about me. I would ask myself but I didn't have enough time to get her to the side on her own. Will I see her again? You know what? It'd be fantastic but it doesn't matter. Today, I went to an even that I didn't want to go to and something happened. I felt my heart drop when I was near her. I may never see her again and that's ok. The point is that I couldn't believe that I could feel this way again. I'm so happy to even be able to feel this. Im not dead inside. I know I can still someday find someone and feel this fantastic feeling again.

So I had to leave for the movies and met my friend and watched the movie. It was ok.Told her that I gave up a good thing just for her and it was hard tearing away from that party but I did. haha. She was my friend for almost 20 years and she just broke up so I had to support my friend. I may be good for nothing but friends are one thing I'm good at.

I'm home now posting this because I'm smiling tonight. Nothing loony-roomie can ruin. I also realize I no longer wake up or go to bed thinking about my ex gf. I'm just high as a kite finding out I can feel like this again. To be human is oh so nice.

And to think, I almost didn't go to this housewarming party tonight! I am a true believe to my own bull crap now :) Get out there and get busy in life. Even if you don't feel like it :) You never know what will happen out there.