Back to the same old
Been a lovely two weeks of spending time with family and not having to deal with any outsider's shit. It's like night and day, the difference location and company can make. Then you inevitably have to leave it to come back to work; which is great. Work makes you appreciate leisure more, as it feels earned. Of course you couldn't have work without customers and you couldn't have customers without the usual bullshit. 3 purse grabs. Not too shabby. One of them looked dead at me as she did it in the typical indignant fashion like the vindictive cunts these types of women turn out to be. 3 is pretty low, actually. At this rate, we may actually be seen as equals or something. You'll do better next week. The other scurried off, doing their best impression of a privileged, sheltered city girl on the posh part of town. They spoke with that forced pretentiousness that made it seem like they were voice acting the role of an overly exaggerated snob character in a children's cartoon. People like this do exist, apparently. They were saying something really liberal. Like they were really passionate about worldly things and important issues all the while clutching their bags in fear scurrying away. Funny. And I only bring this up because it got me thinking back to something I noticed way back when:
How can one change the world when they can't even change themselves? People let themselves be ruled by their inner animal nature at just the opportune times, and always without having any realization of it. Just to put things in perspective: I once had someone almost run me over in a parking lot because they were so freaked out about me approaching their car(even though they parked RIGHT next to me despite me parking far away from everyone else...) Another time in the same parking lot another feared for their safety upon seeing me that they actually flew past the red light around the curve, almost getting t-boned by two cars in the process. How can one be so ruled by fear that they were willing to put their lives and the lives of others in danger? It's like their brains just go on auto-pilot, and are just acting out of primal fear. What was once a human being just reverted to a lowly animal acting on instinct. Fantastic. It seems despite all of your collective art, and posh mannerisms, multiple languages, and talk of worldly issues like climate change and world peace, and despite all your posterity; when push comes to shove you revert back to frightened animals when challenged. And that's exactly how I see you. You can't even face the slightest taste of adversity, even if it's something as simple as coexisting with others who look DIFFERENT from you. What makes you think you can stand up to the problems of the world? You can't even stand in your own backyard. You just like to talk like you do because it makes you sound good in front of your peers, like ya give a shit. But once that human nature takes over...once that self-preservation kicks in, all that alleged humanity and posterity goes right out the window with the end result leaving you as a puppet to your lesser animal instincts. The true cowardice comes from not being able to deal with the reality. The reality that we're not special in the world. We merely...'exist'. But you can't without trying to over inflate your own self worth just to prove what? That you're better? That means absolutely nothing in a world that exists with no meaning. You're just running on primal fear. Why should anyone take you seriously? And no, I'm not a hero, but I'm not pretending to be either. I couldn't be a hero anyway as my existence is too 'threatening' by simpler minds by default. The instinctive fear would take precedence over anything I say or do, anyway. Once again, it's as if I never said anything at all.