Eel

Plateau

so my thoughts drift, scrambled, clouds kicking in.
broken pupils, dysfunction around. anxiety revving up again.
breathe.
keep breathing.
the world isn't what it once was.
you are alive and that means something.
it means something for the people you cared for.
the people you made it a little easier for.
i wonder if they think about it.
the way people think about good things.
for two situations.
one is for when they reminisce.
and one is for when they daydream.
the future. the past.
fragments.
glorious.
pulsating.
memories.
and it wasn't that vivid before. it was as gray. i was as used.
horns, halos, smiles, frowns. juggling emotions and identities.
i still don't know who i am.
wait,
who the fuck am i?
kaylan, you better roll another one up. this kid's not making sense no more.
he's finally losing his mind. hilarious.
they destroyed you.
weren't you afraid?
aren't you afraid?
aren't you -
don't be.
it's okay.
it's okay now.