Lost sight of a picture never taken
Lost art of keeping a secret
Hate me today
Old music leads me to read old things, That it turns out is an epic mistake.
I’m sure there is zero misunderstanding, but when you read back through things it shines a light on things you didn’t necessarily see before.
Hindsight isn’t always a wonderful thing either, it’s great when you look back and realise that you made the right choice, then hindsight can be a real fucking ego boost. But when you got it wrong? Or worse, when you spent years convincing yourself you were right and then realise you were wrong when it’s too late?
I feel a little bit like I’m disconnecting. I keep finding myself fading in and out at the edges, not really taking much in and just kinda getting by. It’s a really strange feeling, like I’ve had a nap, but I’ve managed to get things done...
Although I’ve just realised that I’ve not really written anything about the way I feel, or in fact anything that’s really going on inside for most of the entry’s here. But then again, was I ever going to? The trouble with writing to much about yourself is you might get found, and to be fair if I’m being looked for, they’ll find me.
Who’s got time for bitching and whining though ah? Best get back to smiling and getting on with it at some point!
In the meantime, I’ll sit here and wait... because it can’t be my choice this time.