marielmia

Mariel is MIA
2019-09-13 14:36:50 (UTC)

Having THE TALK tonight

No matter what light i put this relationship in, it isn't working for me. i'm not sure if i expect too much or he's just not there. i am trying to move away from this need for a dominant man, fantasizing instead, a man who wants me. Who is happy to see me and shows it. Who gazes into my eyes when we make love. Making love. Ha! So different for me, the girl who always looked for an edgy fuck.

i don't know where i am so how can i know where a relationship is?
Aside from my shit, he has issues too. We have stuff to talk about. Like does he really want to be with me? Can he make love to me like i want him to? Right now, we don't make love, nor do we fuck. i'd just call it sex. Middle of the road. Non-committal. Mediocre. Even his phone schemes against me. No, i'm not paranoid or delusional. Just making light of how he gets incessant calls and texts and never picks up. Just a quick glance when he thinks i'm not looking. Why can't he just answer or make it silent? So distracting for me. Focus is always my issue and this just ruins the mood for me.

But being honest, it just comes down to me being comfortable with myself being alone. i hate being alone and i have to get over it.
Anyway, it's all gonna come out tonight. i won't puss out. i'm sure of that.
Ramble on, Mar. Sorry for my incoherency. Love to all.




Ad: