me being dramatic because my head hurts
September 10, 2019 Tuesday 5:33 PM
On the shower floor I was thinking about how I hate when my vagina is close-shaven, because it looks like a child's. And when I look in the mirror as is I am already a child. To see my little-girl genitals freaks me out. But I hate it just as well when I have hair, it looks wrong on my body; mismatched. It brings so much attention to itself, it strays from its bounds, I hate it I hate it I fucking hate it.
My head hurts today. I feel fine except for my anxiety is heightened a lot. Lancelot wants to see me once a week. He also wants to speak to the doctor that might become my psychiatrist once I actually make an appointment with her. I feel okay, though. I don't feel okay. But it has been worse. This isn't bad. Just tiring.
My head hurts. Gotta write that down somewhere or I'll forget. I didn't forget that I wrote it a paragraph ago. I just had the thought again, so I wrote it twice. Gonna get dressed. Have dinner with Karina soon. Wanna take out my eyeballs. Wanna sew up my holes.