Where Pelicans Fly
12/1/1987 Mon. 2:43 PM
I am now at mom and dad's doing my laundry. As usual, ma is in her bitchy mood.
Kevin is definitely going to get his ass kicked next time I see him seeing that he threatened me this morning. He should definitely know better by now, but seeing that he doesn't, maybe I'll have to hurt him.
I hope to be going to STCC for part-time classes in the daytime starting in January. Also the interpreter training class at night. I'd still like to tutor sign and try doing calligraphy on the side to make extra money.
I hope I see Mary very soon. I want the clothes back she borrowed. If she doesn't have them she's dead, just like Nellie if I don't get paid tomorrow.
12/2/1987 Wed. 4:09 PM
I am now at the doctor's waiting to be seen. The nurse just weighed me at 118½ pounds.
Nellie paid me $20 today and was on her way over to visit when I was on my way out the door.
12/4/1987 Fri. 5:48 PM
It’s been a depressing birthday so far. I am now waiting for mom and dad to come pick me up for dinner. Jenny and Emily, an old friend, totally forgot it was my b-day today. Kevin told me over the phone he couldn't afford to get me anything. I did, however, get a card from Tammy who I'm sure won't even call me. I also got a card from Jo. Jo’s an old lady back at the old apartment complex I used to live at. Her husband’s crazy but that’s because he has Alzheimer’s disease.
12/6/1987 Sun. 1:49 AM
Jenny and Jim were over tonight for a little while. Jenny got me this candle and potpourri that smells really nice.
Earlier today I went to the mall to do some Chanukah shopping. I got dad Wynonna and Naomi's tape, mittens for Rebecca, a coloring book for Lisa, a cosmetic organizer for Jenny, and placemats for Tammy and Bill's table, and last, a bracelet for Kevin. I still need to get something for ma and Emily. In case I haven’t already said so, Tammy is my older sister, but no one in the family has been in touch with our older brother, Larry. Bill is Tammy’s husband whom I never really cared for. Lisa is her daughter which she had with some Mexican guy when she lived in Texas. She currently lives in Connecticut. Bill and Tammy had Becky together and both are lousy parents.
I'll probably be up most of the night since I slept so late this morning, but I have to get up early tomorrow so I can go to STCC and the federal building. I also have to have some blood work done tomorrow. Right now I am making some fish cakes but after they're done and I eat I'm going to go over that form for financial aid.
On January 2nd I’ll be flying down to Florida to visit my folks.
12/7/1987 Mon. 5:07 PM
I had quite a long day today. I have been up since 5:15 this morning as the people upstairs on the 3rd floor were doing the 50-yard dash. I woke up to their footsteps.
At about 8:45 I left for the bus to go to the social security office. I also applied for food stamps.
At the federal building, I saw 3 deaf women signing and went up to join them. I also met a woman from Trinidad who has a deaf daughter. She wants me to teach her sign language. I gave her my number and she says she'll call me.
As of right now, I am at Jenny's keeping her company while she cuts carpet.
Jenny gave me a little scatter rug. She has some other carpet for me but she has to find out how much it costs before she sells it to me. I'd love some carpet for my bedroom and the hallway. I hope I can afford it though as I only get $474.49 a month between my two checks (social security and SSI). It's so hard to afford to buy anything for myself other than just pay my rent and the bills because I get so little.
12/8/1987 Tues. 6:46 PM
I am now at Dunkin Donuts. I had 2 cups of coffee (nothing to eat). I’ve lost 3 pounds. I haven't eaten all day today and I'm not going to for 3-5 days.
Next Tuesday at 4 pm, mom, dad and I are going down to Tammy's for a Hanukkah get-together. I hope it won't be as shitty as Thanksgiving was. I really get sick of this family’s shit at times.
12/11/1987 Fri. 12:36 AM
Last night I didn't get to sleep until about 6am. Today I slept till 1pm, got up, put up with the nervous bastard for a while then went to therapy. Next week is my last week with Trisha.
12/13/1987 Sun. 2:46 AM
Last night I fell asleep at some time around 11:00. I woke up at 5:00 this morning. No noise woke me up. I just for some reason automatically woke up. Who knows why, but on weekdays when I have errands to do it seems I sleep all day, but on the weekend what do I do when there's nothing to wake up for? Get up at 5am.
Hank from downstairs was up here twice today visiting. Once I asked him to come and look at the black and white TV. He says the transistors are gone.
Then he called up to me while I was dusting the bedroom from his bedroom asking me for aspirin.
Tomorrow or Monday I must get my Hanukkah cards and get my Christmas cards ready to go out in the mail. I also must mail Jo's b-day card in a few days, too.
12/14/1987 Mon. 3:41 AM
Guess I'll be up all night again as usual. It seems my body would rather sleep in the daylight hours rather than at night.
Fran and Kevin were over tonight. We all watched a movie. It was nothing spectacular. Just ok.
Tomorrow at 3:30 I'm to meet Jenny in front of Springfield Municipal Hospital where she works. She's going to take me grocery shopping and I'm gonna give her about 30 paperback books I don't want.
12/16/1987 Wed. 1:57 PM
I’m now waiting to be seen by the shrink. Dad brought me here after picking me up at noon and taking me to the mall to exchange the pants I got for Hanukkah. I’m getting fat! I weigh 121 pounds.
I got quite a bit last night at Tammy's. Tammy, Bill and the girls got me a sleep shirt for Florida. From mom and dad, I received socks, underwear, a big sweatshirt dress, purse, earrings, watch, bracelet, miniskirt with a shirt to go with it, 2 pairs of pants, a coat, gloves and a scarf.
12/19/1987 Sat. 12:40 AM
At about 3:00, I went and did my laundry at the X, then came home at 6:00 and called dad. He took me out to dinner at 7:00, then when he brought me home he came up here for about a half an hour or so. I played Love Me Tender on the keyboard for him and made him coffee.
He weighed himself on my scale and said that it was definitely accurate and that there was no way I could possibly weigh 121 pounds. Then when I stepped on it, it said I was 111.
The people here are so noisy. I think I hear a garbage disposal running now.
Took a bath tonight, never straightening my hair. It looks ridiculous. Very curly.
12/25/1987 Fri. 11:45 PM
Crystal has finally moved in. She just finished unpacking. We met at Dunkin’ Donuts and got to discussing my wanting a roommate.
Now she’s singing. Personally, I think Crystal has just about the worse voice I've ever heard.
I spoke to Jenny today. It’s her 23rd birthday. She told me of all the gifts she got from her family and friends.
I tried to get a hold of Mary and there was no answer. She's just as hard to get a hold of as Emily is.
12/31/1987 Thurs. 4:54 AM
Tonight’s New Year's Eve. Another year has gone by.
I woke up early and straightened up a bit. I changed the pig's cage. They’ll need more food and sawdust today. I think I'll buy them cedarwood. It lasts longer and smells good. I'll be gone 10 days so it has to last. Crystal will feed them and give them water while I'm gone.
Speaking of Crystal, she is one hell of a good roommate. I only wish she was a little neater.
Kevin is supposed to drive Crystal and I down to Salem to see Tammy, but Crystal never came home last night. She's probably with her abusive boyfriend, Mike.
We have a lot of fun together, Crystal and me. Last night she said, "I feel like I've known you for years." I feel that way too. I just hope to hell she shows up to go to Tammy's. I have a feeling she'll forget. Maybe I'll just go with Kevin, although I really want Crystal to go, too.
I wonder if 1988 will be my lucky year. I know, however, that this is the year I am going to hear out of both ears.