inbetween

inbetween
2019-09-06 03:08:58 (UTC)

Why. Why CAN'T I ..SLEEP. Ther

Why. Why CAN'T I SLEEP.

There's nothing to do at night, other than wait for the hours to pass.. Sigh, I'm so tired of this. And I can't help but think about the similarites from back then..

Lately I've had dreams of tsunamis and lots of watery drama. Very popular theme for sleepy me. No need to analyze.

Anyway, since I'm awake when everyone else isn't, I started thinking about dating and tinder. Dating is hard. It's really not suited to anyone with huge trust issues and complex upon complex regarding the opposite gender. I need to really ease into it. But I find that tinder isn't too bad, if both parts are one the same page about how they wanna go about dating. Although it is scary to me that you take so many chances about who you're really meeting - I suppose it's the same for tradtional dating. You can't spot the psychopaths straight away anyway.

With men, I tend to look for ones that are older. It's not that I necessarily want to date someone older, rather the opposite. But I just feel safer with them in general. They're more laid back. Got their shot together, unlike me. And (a little sad to admit) I probably assume they wouldn't be so picky.. So it's less likely I'll be rejected.

On the other hand, they could turn out to be desperate men. Admittedly, that does raise an alarm in my mind. Why are they on tinder looking for true love at that age, and true love form people ten years younger? Hmm. I'm not one to judge tho, as long as they are nice and decent.

Thinking back to that man tho.. I realize I want some level of commitment, but I was not ready to hear that he was in it for life on the first date. What was he even thinking? Who says that on the FIRST date? Needless to say, I went running for the hills after that. But lately, my lonely self have been thinking that it's too bad. If he had been more relaxed.. It might have been good. I was comfortable with him. We played rdr 2 and picked up pizza. He gave me cuddles. :(

I just want cuddles.

Also I am sleep deprived.




Ad: