Goals Reflection: August 2019
[any identifying names and locations will be changed for protection and privacy.]
GOALS REFLECTION - August 2019
Am I just...distracted from this right now? I feel like I'm avoiding this other than saying to myself, "Yeah, this is a great idea!" I truly do believe it is an excellent idea, but I'm clearly not taking action on it. I've shared the idea with a few of my good friends (two women I've known for a long time), and they both also seem intrigued by the idea and appear to appreciate the merits of off-grid, more-rural living. Either the idea isn't so outrageous, or they're very kind to my crazy visions.
This is a big task, to be sure, but there must be -something- I can do to make it more of a reality before the year is out. I need to focus energy on this much more in the few months left before 2020, just so I can carry the momentum into the next year.
Fits and starts. There have been a couple meetings this past month, and I've attended a couple. Forces have aligned to temporarily push me elsewhere, both time-wise and energy-wise. I've had fun with my two most recent designs and I have some feedback to act upon for the next iterations, plus another about which a forum reader has consistently communicated with me these past several months. I just need to settle in, eliminate distractions, and fuckin' do the things.
I gotta put this somewhere: I've been playing some "erotica" video games. They're the kind that are either text-based or "visual novels" that feature limited animations with HQ renderings of people in sexual situations. Admittedly, this initially came about because I'd been researching visual novel video games, but then once I found a few titles that "scratched the itch," I decided that it felt better to play these games than to make some of my own.
This isn't an admirable development. But it's been inspirational in terms of me slowly easing back into writing my own erotica, which I'd chipped away at before the end of the month. I enjoy reading them in my spare time, and I indulge when I can. That being said, I'd prefer to spend time producing my own works - erotic or otherwise - than just consuming those produced by others.
We exhibited our home-grown arcade at a local brewery to muted reception. The bartenders were sociable and cute, at least. There's another video game exhibition event happening in the first half of October. I may have some updates to a couple of my games by then.
The day job is providing me with scads of overtime - or as we call it in the salaried world: comp time. Not only am I working hours during the day, but now I'm head trainer for evening and weekend classes. This has caused a lot of havoc in my usual schedule. I don't sleep regularly, I don't exercise regularly, and I eat meals at odd times too. To sum up: there are benefits to it, but it also has its costs.
The settlement check from being hit by the car came in. It will have cleared and been entered into my savings account by the middle of next week. It's somewhere north of $20,000. I will pay off my recent vehicle purchase, ensure that I have enough squirreled away for some vacations later in the Autumn, then sit on the rest. This is a one-time infusion of cash, and I cannot squander it on stupid stuff or nickel-and-dime'ing myself back to a level of only modest savings.
Stay disciplined with your money, and it won't go wrong. Stay disciplined with your money.
I've not visited the family so frequently in the last several weeks of August. A pleasant surprise is that my mother sprang a trip to a rural resort on the immediate family, and so in early September I'll be spending two nights in a fancy cabin/condo in the woods with my Mum, stepfather, sister and her husband (and maybe kids), and my brother and his wife and kids. The dog is staying home, as it happens, but that's the way my mother wants it. I intend to start my "audio archive" of my mother's history while we're on this trip.
I just haven't wanted to take the trip out there lately, instead gratifying myself, on my own. Again, I feel this is a temporary situation and I'll find my way beyond it soon enough.
FITNESS & HEALTH
The morning wake-up exercises have persisted nearly every day, or at least six out of every seven. Weight is still in the low 190's. I feel the fluctuations in my day job schedule have rattled me most in this area.
The community bike ride at the end of the month was another fun one, with a crowd once again close to 1,000 riders (if not more than that). I was actually hit on the helmet by a kid who jumped out from the side of the street as I rode past. I wouldn't exactly call it assault, but yeah, he hit me. I have some camera footage of it, so I might look back on it if I need a good chuckle. We were riding through the projects at the time, but don't forget kids will be kids no matter where they are.
I staff a volunteer event for the bike group in late September. It'll be nice to meet more folks from the local community and serve as an ambassador for an organization that I love supporting.
TO SUM UP
This seems like it's been a slow month for me, goals-wise. I likely am distracting myself in my spare time a bit too much. However, I can't deny that I've been pouring a lot of myself - and I mean a LOT - into the day job lately, and find it difficult to drum up the motivation for other interests. I'm going to what's comfortable: air conditioning, naps, video games, comics, masturbation. I can almost imagine that my free time was eerily similar to what I'd done 30 years ago. Not a trend I want to continue, really. But this seems to be just a phase. I feel trapped indoors due to the weather, and restricted by a demanding day job schedule. Both of those are not permanent fixtures.