inbetween

inbetween
2019-08-27 13:42:02 (UTC)

practicing gratitude

I've been rereading some of my entries, and yes it's rather depressing. Nine out of then entries are about venting my feelings and being sad and frustrated. Because well, that's the stuff I don't share with the people in my life. Love that for me.

To the point, though, I want to remember to reflect around the good things as well. So here's a list:

- I had a long vacation at home this summer, where I connected with family and felt more at ease than I have in a long time.

- During this time I felt like I connected more with my mom. I realize we're so different and so alike, and our communication styles don't match at all. This is why we always misunderstand each other, so kudos to me for making an effort to talk to her when I didn't understand her and thought there was a problem.

- I had many nice moments with my grandma, who is getting very old. I helped her clean her house and talked to her about the old days. I think conversations like these are priceless.

- I got to meet my cousin's baby twins a few times. They were very energetic and almost walking. At one point, something scared one of them, so I picked her up to comfort her. She's very trustful. It was nice, the way she butted her head into my neck and snuggled me.

- I spent a lot of time with my goddaughter, just me and her. She's growing up so fast. It's fun to see how she changes, yet stays the same. And how she reflects around things happening in her life. I think she needs a lot of love and I'm glad I can be a person who gives it to her.

- I met an old friend of mine. I always enjoy meeting her, even though we see each other rarely and rarely talk together. I feel like we're always on the same wave length. We drove to this art festival and had a great time there. I love that festival, because it's founded almost entirely on volunteers. It's a multicultural wonder, and their community spirit is warming. Not to mention the place looks like paradise.. I hope I can volunteer one year.

- Lots of cat cuddles.

- My dad asked me to help with the tractor. These are the ways he connects. It was nice. I got to raise and lower the grab to help him right a lawnmower. That tractor is older than me.

- I drew something. It was a turbulent experience, but at least I stuck with it until it was done.

- I went with a group of friends to see Metallica. We had a few days together in the city we stayed in. I took lots of pictures and had such a great time in general. These friends always make me feel so loved and accepted. We've experienced loss together, I guess that really brings us closer. And now one of them is pregnant.

- I flew home with my brother, and got to spend some time with him. I find it very hard to connect with him. We can barely have a full conversation together, but maybe I just have to accept that the silences are just as important.

- We went canoeing on the lake and up the river. Me, my mom and my goddaughter. It was magical. We watched the fish jump to catch flies, and birds flitting from tree to tree. It'd been a dry summer by the time we went out, so the river wasn't as high as it usually is, and the water barely moved.

- We went camping and hiked to a lake under a glacier. It was so blue because of the particles from the glacier. I loved walking in that terrain, full of rocks and boulders. My goddaughter was our chatterbox during the whole trip, she always talks and laughs a lot and it was really nice.

- I've reconnected with an old friend. It's a little awkward, but I hope we can find the same tone we used to have.. or at least, find a new tone that fits who we are now? I miss spending time with her..




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