Vanilla

Tired

I am too tired to run.

The older i get the more i realise, maybe...maybe being non-white and a female will always be my down fall. Maybe never having a father makes me easy target seeing as i have daddy issues. A scar that will never heal. Maybe people feel and will always feel that i deserve to be treated this way and maybe i am powerless against it.

How alone am i in this?...am i the only one that feels this way, because it feels like i am the only one, that it only happens to me.

I cant go back, there is no life there, and yet there is no life here and yet i dont see a future with or without because i dont know if it can ever be better.

I am too tired to run, to walk away and to fight for a new life.

I dont know how many more tears I will cry.

You know...i spent my entire life thinking im fucked up in some way, but nah its people that are fucked up, maybe i was too normal and they just wanted to being their fucked up shit to me.