Pleasantly Disturbed

Broken Glass Park
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2019-08-23 16:23:47 (UTC)

I Don't Ever Want To Drink Again, I Just Need A Friend

I'm going to therapy Monday. I'm excited. Finally, someone to talk to. It is their job to listen. And I'm not paying for it. Now, if they try to prescribe me antidepressants, I can always lie and say I am taking them. I'll want to say to them, "Look, bitch, I don't need a pill, I just need a friend." That's all I really need in this world right now. Love and romance are secondary and I need time for that. My husband just passed away 4 months ago. May he rest in peace. I don't have anyone else in this world. There is someone I miss terribly, who reminds me of my husband, whom I'm very, very attracted to. I have no idea how to find him or get in contact with him again, or even if I should. It's bad how much I'm missing him every minute of every day. It's like, he's alive and I could be hanging out with him (maybe - only if he wanted to hang out with me. 😞) and he's a lot like my husband, you know? Just more heartache added on to tragedy.

Does God even want me to be happy? I honestly wonder.