z2smith

z2Smith
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2019-07-31 15:18:08 (UTC)

Inner thoughts

I cant help but to think I have failed. I have a unique position in my family as the first son and at this stage of the family I should be the rock of the family. My parents should be relaxing and enjoying their retirement instead of still working and I should be the main driver and supporter of the family. Instead I live in a studio flat trying to recover from my financial mess. My mum came to visit yesterday (she is around) and for the first time she saw my flat. I am not sure what went through her mind but it most be sad to see me in a studio flat irrespective of how clean and good it looks.
I feel I have been passed by and i am so far behind. I know my inner self and what I am all about. I can't just express it as I dont have the resources or the status to do so. This makes me feel trapped s and unhappy. My real self trapped inside my body. The future I see is bright and i still have the chance to make my life a success. My job is good and I can build on it, I am planning on teaching business analysis to earn money on the side and then there is Linda.


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