simply me

my wee diary
2019-07-21 00:01:58 (UTC)

Sunday 21st

When life seems so good on the outside
But you know it’s not
When work seems so easy to do
But it’s killing you slowly and painlessly
When you try to smile on the outside
And your feelings are so deceptive to your heart
When you realise your life is ebbing away but become powerless to want to change direction
When you know your only escape is to close your eyes and hope sleep lasts a lot longer than the customary 4 and a bit hours .
When you sit and look at space in the living room and just stare
When you wish you had someone to share time with and realise that giving an equal dose of reality that no one wants to share space and time in this living room
To know that time goes by very quickly no matter what state your life may be
To feel empty
To not fear the end and feel ready
To be in touch with the surroundings and not get involved .
The feel the world has started to rotate backwards
To struggle with empathy and the lack of character that surrounds us .
To feel love has left the soup .
To feel emptiness and failure .
To know life is drifting further away from bubble I live in .
To wait , To feel nothing for beautiful moments
To stop remembering all the good times
To realise in the grand scheme of things : nothing really matters
I’ll go to sleep , cuddle the pillow and not wish it could cuddle back ,
I don’t feel the same now
Life doesn’t have the sane glow ,
And I don’t know how to fix it or want to fix it .
I’m so tired ,
I really am




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