Street_smart

Experienced Life
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2019-07-06 22:23:36 (UTC)

Finding peace with a little hiccup

Tonight I had dinner at a place I was craving for awhile now. Dinner for two and a bottle of wine for 25 bucks. Presentation was great and it's like a little but busy cafe atmosphere. I love it. But.... it is close to where my ex gf lives. Practically minutes away. I posted on fb to see if any of my peeps wanted to meet me. Never know if any or a whole bunch will come. Didn't care. I wanted a nice dinner in a nice place.

Got there and the first thing I saw was a make and model and color of the same car my ex gf drives. I have to admit, I wasn't ready for that and there are so many restaurants around the area so we shouldn't ever meet. My heart did drop. I guess I do have lingering insecurities about her even after all this time. So be it. Admit to my soul not being fully repaired yet but it will be. Time and effort.

Went into the restaurant not knowing what I'd see. If she was with a date, who knows how I'd react. But alas, it wasn't her car. False alarm. It was all good after all. Made me realize where I stood for now. Not yet completely healed. I'm not pining for her or anything. I don't follow her on social media. No talk, text, or going over to her house so I know I'm not that weird psycho ex bf. But the feelings were confusing. I need to work on that.

Dinner came and it was awesome. I had a piece of german chocolate cake too. I was driving so I had maybe 1/4 of a bottle of wine. I was relaxed and enjoyed my dinner. Even though it was busy and I heard people talking all around me, I was in a quiet frame of mind and was smiling inside. Not because of the false alarm but I am actually happy with what I have and my life accomplishments. Got a great job, great friends, all the stupid silly material things that I want and since the surgery is not going to be a major one anymore, I feel I have a renewed life now. I wasn't sitting there eating dinner smiling like a lunatic. Just sat and ate. Pleasantly enjoying my meal. A little itty bitt smile or smirk would come up and I was playing short vids on youtube about the next boxing match coming this July 20th.

Got home and the 2nd I did, my friends texted asking if they could pick up the stuff I bought for them at Costco so I said sure, come on by. It's all quiet since I got home. Doing laundry. Loony-roomy is asleep. :)

Below is what I had for dinner tonight.
https://www.amazon.com/photos/shared/3OQ5ZsqXR2KTbANOqqur5g.5vrXJCnI1YLGOart-hEqXx

Good night for now diary. Thanks for being there to sooth my soul. I know there is no one on the other side but I still feel better after posting here.


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