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2019-06-26 00:13:35 (UTC)

Breakup Knowledge and enlightenment

So sometime this or last week, I learned something regarding breaking up with someone and it was very enlightening. I mean this made a big difference in my train of thought. The issue is that when you break up, you miss your ex. Usually, it's worse when you are the one that got dumped. In actuality, time and distance helped me pretty well so far. However, there are times when you miss your ex or feel a strong need to be back with them. Many times causing stress and anxiety.

Well, I got some info that really helped me. The ex that I miss and maybe thinking about more than i should is because of something. No, it's not because of the ex gf. She was far from perfect. She was human just like the rest of us. We all make mistakes and do the same stupid shit. The feeling I got was that me missing me ex is not actually accurate. What I really miss is the dream. Our dream of a wife, kids, or whatever you know? That dream of being with someone special pretty much. The dream of coming home to someone daily to have dinner with and ask each other how their days went. It just so happens that your now ex gf somewhat came in and became a viable candidate for the dream to become a reality.

So now that you broken up, you don't really miss your ex. You actually are bummed out because your dream is on hold or shut down for now. That message was so inspiring for me. It showed me that pain was not really all on my ex. The pain was because that dream has now kind of been put on hold.

But that ok. Being put on hold for a future partner in crime is fine. Thinking that your ex gf is the one for me and got away is what's wrong to think about because it's not true. Your dream is still your dream. It still can be fulfilled with someone else. You don't only get one shot in life. You don't only get one job in life. You don't only live in that one home in life. You don't have only one car in your life. You don't have only one love in your life. Thinking I found the love of my life and now that it's over is not over. Just know that your dream is still there. It's in you. Now you can find a better person with better qualities to fill in that possible role :)

I'm at peace right now. I still have surgery to do but I'm getting a 2nd and 3rd opinion on this. Regardless, I'm not going to rush into messing up my body. Yeah, I still got tingly feeling in my ring and baby finger but I'll live. Regardless of the 2nd opinion, I'm not going to have that c2-t2 rod fusion. Screw that. Or should I say unscrew that.

That's all I got for now diary. Thanks for listening. Got me stuff to post but too tired at the moment.

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