Scream Above the Sounds
2019-06-21 11:44:57 (UTC)

"Credits Will Do Fine"

A Star Wars quote, naturally.

So College is officially finished and whilst I should be the happiest camper ever, I feel like absolute shit. I just want to sleep and forget about today. I'm being dramatic, obviously. We needed to finish on 60 credits and I counted everything up today and I fell short. I finished on 58. I counted several times but yep, 58. 2 short. I am gutted. There is nothing I can really do either, I completed every assignment given to me. The reason I have fallen short is because I didn't sit Maths. I'm kinda hoping that they will understand this, the woman who runs the Adult Foundation course has had several meetings with me and she knows I'm not studying it. It's really pissed on my mood, because I know I've tried my absolute best this year. I guarantee I'll get at least a 'C' in English, I mean I'm hoping for an A. I deserve an A. I dunno, I just feel really low.

I've put all my eggs in one basket with this course and access in September so if I get told "No" now, after I've done everything that is asked of me. I don't really know what I'll do. I should have had a Plan B in place really, just in case. I don't know, I've sent a frenzied e-mail to the woman who runs the course and have asked if I will be okay, despite not meeting 60 credits. I'm not a Teacher's Pet or anything, but I would bet no lecturer would say a bad word about me. I hope they will work everything out and I can just go back in September with no problems. I can't really afford any more roadblocks, I already feel uncomfortable studying at my age as it is. I know I shouldn't, I just can't help it.

So yeah, freedom. I finished the first Game of Thrones book on the bus home and now I'm here writing this. I'm trying to use this website more and more, like the days of old. I guess I just don't want to blabber for the hell of it. I saw something that made me laugh though about somebody who read one of my entries and said they couldn't continue with it because it was 'too long'. I'm sure I have plenty more that absolutely dwarf the one you read, but hey; props to anybody who reads my nonsense. I'm sorry it's not as dramatic as last year. I think that's what really enticed everybody. The sadness, the desperation, I was a broken man.

I don't have any plans for the rest of the day, I might see if my friend wants to hit the weights or something because I need to relieve a bit of stress. I feel like if I just sit inside all day, that's going to make me feel worse. The sun is shining, college is over, and I feel like a pile of shit. Happy Summer!